Tag: working mums

Abundance, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Relationships, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

Lyn Bailey

How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

 

Everyone wants to have healthy strong relationships but not many people know that living in the now is exactly how you develop those types of relationships. It’s all about what you choose to focus on in the relationship that makes all the difference in the world.

Being fully present lets you look at the foundation of your relationships and allows you to be nurturing rather than wasting time and effort trying to fix what you believe is wrong with the other person. When you’re living in the now, you develop a deeper level of kindness and connection toward the other person.

Rather than rehashing and reacting to what you perceive are flaws—or even what irritates you about the other person—living in the now lets you become accepting. When you accept other people as they are, they tend not to be as defensive. Their guard is lowered and true bonds can be formed. You’ll be able to grow within the relationship. As a result, you can change the tone of the interactions you have with those you care about. When you live in the present, you have relationships where love and honesty are at the forefront. This allows the relationship to flourish. So if you’re ready to nurture your relationships, here’s what you can do to strengthen your bond today…

Practice paying attention.

When the other person is speaking, give them your full focus. When you multitask as someone is talking to you, it makes them feel like they’re not important enough for your full attention. By giving half of your attention away when someone else needs you to be present, you’re robbing yourself and them of the full benefit and enjoyment of your relationship. However, when you pay attention, you’re living in the moment. This deepens the level of the relationship and allows you to feel closer to the other person.

Check your emotions by being in the present.

When you’re in the present, you’re not allowing the emotions from the past to interfere with your relationship. Constantly holding onto things that bothered you then allowing those things to remain in your thoughts or to come out during an argument can erode the relationship over time. Your emotions become heightened when you carry past baggage into the present. You end up saying things that you may not truly mean. This happens because you’re not speaking with present emotions but with past ones. Checking your emotions allows you to break the circle of constantly fighting over the same things.

Teach yourself.

Use living in the moment to guide you on how to deal with relationships now. Look for self-teaching moments. This is when you stop and check in with yourself. Ask what the best way is to handle the situation. Look to see if you reacted emotionally and created friction rather than acted mindfully and created peace. What checking yourself does is boost the strength of the relationship. You’re not busy looking at what the other person is doing. Instead, you’re focusing on what your responsibility is. Being mindful enables you to control and manage your feelings and actions. It also means you don’t have to be in control of the outcome of the relationship. You’re free to let it evolve. In the end, the only person you’re capable of changing or improving is yourself. When you focus on strengthening the relationship, it lets the other person “off the hook.” Taking off that pressure prompts others to feel better and react differently toward you.

Create the future you want.

When you behave mindfully in any relationship, it shapes how it will be in the future. Many people have hopes of loving, fulfilling, relationships but don’t realize that today’s behaviors and words create that. If you want love and peace, you have to plant and cultivate those seeds.

Let go of your expectations.

Living in the moment makes you let other people off the hook. People won’t follow the script that you have in your head. They won’t react as kindly or as romantically as you had hoped and sometimes, this can be painful. When you keep your focus on the now, it lets you see past the surface of that person’s response. You’ll develop empathy and realize that the other person is under stress or they’re worried or something is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Being mindful allows you to take a step back to see the truth.

Own up to what’s happening.

Living in the now helps you to deal with whatever issues are going on in a relationship rather than ducking it. Every relationship has flaws because humans have flaws. Some flaws can be so big that if not dealt with, it can wreck the relationship. You can strengthen it by approaching the other person with your feelings now. This helps you not to lay blame and use words that are guaranteed to make the other person defensive like “You always” which is accusatory. Instead, living in the now will help you to address other person calmly. You’ll be able to change the tone by saying, “Right now, I feel let down,” and that enables the conversation to start and the situation to be resolved.

Set your intention each day.

Let mindfulness make you more forgiving toward those in your life that you care about. When you get up each morning, think of two things that you can do to help the relationship grow closer. This might be two acts of kindness such as leaving a caring voicemail, writing a note or simply saying, “I love you and I’m on your side.” Your relationships take work. However, living in the now makes it easier to strengthen your bond and build the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

 

 

Share this by clicking below:
Abundance, Health, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Productivity, Working Moms, Working Mums

12 Reasons to Live in the Now

Lyn Bailey

12 Reasons to Live in the Now

 

There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…

Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.

When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be. You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.

Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.

It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.

Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.

You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.

Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.

You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.

Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.

 When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.

Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.

You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.

Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.

When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved. You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.

Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.

When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection. When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.

Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.

That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this. Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things. When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.

Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.

When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.

Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.

You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else

.Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.

Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motives.

Next Step: If you need help to start living in the Now, with the current world pandemic, then book HERE for a FREE 30 minute How to Live in the Now coaching session.

Share this by clicking below:
Abundance, Health, Mental Health, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

What Does It Mean to Live in the Now?

Lyn Bailey

What Does It Mean to Live in the Now? 

 

Living in the now means you maintain your focus on the present moment. It means that you don’t look to the past. Dwelling on the past is one of the reasons that so many people find themselves unhappy. You might be feeling like you wasted years of your life being in a certain relationship.

You might struggle with feelings of inferiority when looking at the past because you think of the life that you should have led. You might worry that the life you’ve had wasn’t productive enough. Maybe all you can see are missed opportunities. This leads to a struggle with regret.

Sometimes, this discontent leads to a struggle with shame. All that looking backward at the past does is to make you feel regret, nostalgia, or wish that you could rewind time to go back. You might think that if only you could go back in time, you could change things and have a better life.

“If only” thinking leads to deep dissatisfaction with the life that you have now. It can lead to feelings of grief and that can turn into depression. Looking toward the past is detrimental to living in the now. It can steal your present happiness. Accept the past for what it is. It made you who you are and gave you the strength and wisdom you now have. Appreciate it, but don’t let it be your focus.

If you’re looking to the future, that’s not living in the now either. When you live with what could be or focus on the future, you can get stuck in judgement. This can lead to not accepting yourself in the now or the life that you’ve built, which causes deep unhappiness.

It’s okay to look forward to the future and to plan for it, but not to the extent that it prevents you from being present in the moment. Living in the now is something that you want to strive for. It can be useful during times of stress or crisis when you keep your focus on the present. You won’t find yourself worrying about what has happened or what could happen.

You’ll be able to develop an attitude of handling a problem as it arises rather than living in a state of bracing for something to happen.

Not only can living in the now help you in times of stress and crisis but also just in managing day-to-day life. You’ll be able to take imperfections for what they are rather than allowing them to blossom into big deals. You’ll be able to appreciate the little things. You’ll stop measuring yourself and focus on self-love.

If you need help to start living in the Now, with the current world pandemic, then book HERE for a FREE 30 minute How to Live in the Now coaching session.

Share this by clicking below:
Productivity, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

5 Easy Steps To Take The Headache Out Of Productivity

Lyn Bailey

5 Easy Steps To Take The Headache Out Of Productivity

LaptopAre you working longer hours yet getting less done? How would you like get more work done in less time? If what you are doing right now isn’t working, then it is time for a change. It’s time to develop a whole new productivity system for your business, home and life!

The thing that trips most people is that it takes time, energy and know-how to develop and use a good productivity system from scratch. It took me years of trial and error to develop the system that I’m using now and work out all the keys. A great way to shortcut the process is to look for a proven productivity system and adapt it to your unique situation. In the rest of this section, I’m going to take you through a simple five-step process that can serve as the core or foundation of your personal productivity system. If you want more help creating your own productivity system, don’t hesitate to contact me for a one-on-one introductory session to get a system in place.

To get my FREE “8 Simple Ways to Have a More Productive Day” Cheat Sheet just click here!

5 Step Basic Productivity Process

  1. Capture: Capture and collect all your projects and tasks to get them out of your head and into your system.  
  2. Organise: Organise your projects and tasks in a way that makes sense so you can wrap your head around them and use them more effectively in later steps.
  3. Prioritise: Prioritise your most important projects and tasks so you know the most valuable way to spend your time. 
  4. Plan: Plan your weeks and your days so you can maximise your productivity and focus on what is most important to you. 
  5. Act: – Act NOW! What one step do you need to do today to move you closer to your goal? 

 

By following these 5 easy steps, you can start to take control of your projects, your business and your life. You can start to let go of those feelings of overwhelm, “Oh my goodness, I’m not getting anywhere,” frustration, and guilt that you have spent all this time working in your business and you have nothing to show for it. 

To get my FREE “8 Simple Ways to Have a More Productive Day” Cheat Sheet just click here!

Let me share an example of how one of my clients was able to put massive change into his business using this system. He was a young real estate agent. He was full of life and very enthusiastic and loved what he did, and showed me his to-do list, and showed me tick, tick, tick, tick. All these things were ticked off and he was so excited about this.

I said, “Well, what’s your income like?” He said, “Well, that’s the problem. I’m not getting listings and I’m not selling houses.” I said, “Well, hang on. Let’s look at this to-do list.” He would have 20 things on his to-do list. He would cross 18, 19 of them off every day and the one that was left sitting there day in, day out was to follow up prospects which would lead to finding new leads, people who wanted to sell their houses. Day in and day out, finding houses to sell was on his list, but not getting done. He was so excited about doing everything else, he was missing the number one action that he needed to do. 

Once we got him to rearrange his projects and we put finding new listings as his number one priority, his whole attitude towards his business changed. He started to find listings. He started to sell houses and he started to make an income in his real estate business. That just gives you a little bit of an idea of what I’m talking about with how important it is to manage our projects wisely. 

Give this system a go. Let me know what is working and not working for you.

To get my FREE “8 Simple Ways to Have a More Productive Day” Cheat Sheet just click here!

Share this by clicking below:
Abundance, Multitasking, Productivity, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

Is Multitasking really the answer to productivity?

Lyn Bailey

Is Multitasking really the answer to productivity?

Multitasking seems like a great tool to get more done. But you have to ask yourself, are you really ever truly multitasking and won’t it just set you up for confusion?

“Think you’re good at multi-tasking? Feeling energized that you can whip through email messages while simultaneously listening to discussions on a conference call? You might not be as efficient as you think.

It turns out that 98% of the population doesn’t multi-task very well. Only about 2% are good at multi-tasking and these “supertaskers are true outliers.” For most of us, we’re not really multi-tasking – we’re actually shifting back and forth from one task to another, such as typing an email and then listening to that conference call conversation, then back to our email and so on.

The problem with trying to multi-task is all that shifting back and forth between tasks isn’t all that efficient because, each time we do it, it takes our brain some time to refocus. So while it might seem efficient on the surface, it isn’t – studies show that multi-tasking can reduce productivity by as much as 40%.” See Forbes

If you are typing an email, it is unlikely you will be able to concentrate on something else at the same time. If you are on the phone, can you really give your attention to who you are talking to if you are reading your Kindle book at the IThe truth is, we are not really good at multitasking.

Looking at even a higher level, if we try to be a jack-of-all-trades, we tend not to be good at any one thing. On the other hand, if you focus on just one skill and put every effort into being the best at that skill, you are going to do a pretty good job at that skill. It will only take a matter of time before you are expert at it.

My Family

As a working mother of 4 young children, I used to pride myself at being great at multitasking. The truth was that my world was falling apart around me. I didn’t see myself as a good wife, a great mum or a good midwife. I was a jack of all trades and a master of none. Something had to give. I changed the way I started to look at my day and my To Do list. I learned how to focus on 1 or 2 really important, productive goals each day and worked at them until they were completed. This allowed me to feel I had achieved what I set out to do, and, in turn, feel better about myself.

While it’s true that we live in a fast-paced society, one requiring more and more of us to take on more tasks, it remains to be seen whether we are improving productivity by doing this. If instead, we figured out what the most important tasks are to move the organization ahead and then focus workers’ resources on those tasks, it is likely that the productivity gains could be greater from this.

Buddhists believe that people should focus on one task and one task only. They widely hold the belief that we are not good at multitasking, in fact, we are terrible at it. Even if the task given is mundane, it should be completed to the best of our abilities and only then do we move onto something else.

You’ll find plenty of people who will swear that they are good multitaskers. But if you look deeper at what those people are doing, more often than not you will find they are not good at it at all. These people tend to get easily distracted because they are trying to do too many things at the same time. It’s not that they are necessarily worse at it. It’s just that since they hold the belief that they are good multitaskers, they tend to do it more than others. So they appear to be worse at it. None of us are really good at it. You will find your productivity will increase if you focus on one task at a time.

If you would like some help in making this change in your life, then contact me for a FREE 30 minute strategy session to point you in the right direction. Click here to arrange a time.

Share this by clicking below:
Abundance, Productivity, Time Management, Working Mums

The Power of Focus

Lyn Bailey
The Power of Focus

 

The Power of Focus

How do you get the most out of your day?
Where do you find the extra hours you want to pursue your passion or live your life to the fullest?
What is the secret to unlocking that extra time to do what you love to do, instead of what you think you have to do?
Women are very capable of multitasking. As mothers, we are even more capable of it. Employers encourage it. Unfortunately, statistics show that multitasking decreases our productivity, no matter what we are doing.
“About 2.5% of subjects can multitask without performing worse at either task, in controlled studies. These are being dubbed “supertaskers.””
Psychonomic Bulletin and Review, 5/2010
While many people aspire to be “supertaskers”, only 2.5% succeed. For the rest of us, that means that we decrease our focus and attention on each of the tasks we are tackling at any given time. How do we change this? The answer is simple – FOCUS.

7 Steps to Focus

1. Have Goals – know what you want. Set clear, concise goals so that you know what you want and when you want it.
2. Avoid Multitasking – multitasking is not the best use of your time. Block out 1-2 hour blocks to focus on your goal.
3. Take Regular Breaks – give yourself a short 5 minute break every hour to keep yourself rested and hydrated.
4. Identify Distractions – identify your 3 greatest distractions and take steps to eliminate them.
5. To Do list – this will keep you on track as you will always know what the next step is.
6. Keep Your Eyes and Mind on the Prize –Focus on the end result until you achieve it. This will keep you motivated and moving forward towards your goal.
7. Reward Yourself – Decide at the outcome how you will reward yourself when you achieve your goal, then reward yourself on completion. You deserve it!

Go for it now. Start to give yourself time to see the Power of Focus as you incorporate it into your day and your life!

Where will your FOCUS be today?

Share this by clicking below:
Time Management, Working Mums

How To Take The Headache Out Of productivity in 5 Easy Steps

Lyn Bailey

How To Take The Headache Out Of productivity in 5 Easy Steps

Today, I want to talk about a five-step core productivity process.
The thing that trips most people is that it takes time, energy and know-how to develop and use a good productivity system from scratch. It took me years of trial and error to develop the system that I’m using now and work out all the keys. A great way to shortcut the process is to look for a proven productivity system and adapt it to your unique situation. In the rest of this section, I’m going to take you through a simple five-step process that can serve as the core or foundation of your personal productivity system. If you want more help creating your own productivity system, don’t hesitate to contact me for a one-on-one introductory session to get a system in place.
5 step core productivity process
1. Capture. The goal of this step is to capture and collect all your projects and tasks to get them out of your head and into your system.
2. Organise. The goal of this step is to organise your projects and tasks in a way that makes sense so you can wrap your head around them and use them more effectively in later steps.
3. Prioritise. The goal of this step is to help you review, identify and rank your most important projects and tasks so you know the most valuable way to spend your time.
4. Plan – the goal of this step is to help you plan your weeks and your days so you can maximise your productivity and focus on what is most important to you.
5. Action – the goal of this step is to help you figure out what to do next so you can work in a focused, relaxed and productive state on your most important projects and tasks.

By following these 5 easy steps, you can start to take control of your projects, your business and your life. You can start to let go of that feeling of overwhelm, that feeling of, “Oh my goodness, I’m not getting anywhere,” the feeling of frustration, feeling of guilt that you have spent all this time working in your business and you have nothing to show for it.
Let me share an example of how one of my clients was able to put massive change into his business using this system. He was a young real estate agent. He was full of life and very enthusiastic and loved what he did, and showed me his to-do list, and showed me tick, tick, tick, tick. All these things were ticked off and he was so excited about this.

I said, “Well, what’s your income like?” He said, “Well, that’s the problem. I’m not getting listings and I’m not selling houses.” I said, “Well, hang on. Let’s look at this to-do list.” He would have 20 things on his to-do list. He would cross 18, 19 of them off every day and the one that was left sitting there day in, day out was to follow up prospects, to find new leads, find people who want to sell their houses. Day in and day out, finding houses to sell was on his list, but not getting done. He was so excited about doing everything else, he was missing the number one action that he needed to do.
Once we got him to rearrange his projects and we put finding new listings as his number one priority, his whole attitude towards his business changed. He started to find listings. He started to sell houses and he started to make an income in his real estate business. That just gives you a little bit of an idea of what I’m talking about with how important it is to manage our projects wisely.
Give this system a go. Let me know what is working and not working for you.

Share this by clicking below:
Uncategorized

Got the Mummy guilts?

Lyn Bailey
Want more family time?

Can you relate to any of these challenges?

  • You feel like you are spreading yourself TOO THIN and not giving anyone or anything the attention they deserve
  • You are working because you HAVE to and not because you WANT to
  • You feel constantly GUILTY that you are neglecting your children, your partner, your work, yourself…..
  • You are constantly TIRED, lacking in ENERGY and SLEEP DEPRIVED
  • You are not coping the way that the EXPERTS and the BOOKS say that you should be.

You are absolutely not alone As a working mum, midwife, coach and mentor, who has worked with mums for over 40 years, I have a passion for helping mums to love all aspects of their life and be the best they can be.  I have found that many mums face challenges when it comes to balancing time for family, time for work and time for themselves.

PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay

How much better would you feel about your life if you had help with

  • Creating many more GOOD DAYS than bad days?
  • Getting CLARITY about your role – what is being a mother REALLY all about?
  • Understanding that you are NOT ALONE?
  • Feeling in CONTROL of all aspects of your life?
  • Giving yourself PERMISSION to live life according to YOUR rules and not everyone else’s?
  • Having an extra hour a day to spend how you want?
  • Freeing up time for YOU to ENJOY YOUR FAMILY each and every day?
  • Developing strategies and processes to make changes, move FORWARD and COPE better with the bad days?

These are just some of the things that we cover when we work together in my 12 week Love the Life You Live NOW coaching program.

To find out more about transforming your life, and living the life of your dreams NOW, just contact me for a FREE 15 minute introduction session.

Share this by clicking below: