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Lyn Bailey – Life by Design

Tag: working moms

  • How Much Are Distractions Costing You

    How Much Are Distractions Costing You

    You probably think you’re pretty good at multitasking. After all, you can text and walk simultaneously, right? Wrong! My daughter was doing this walking to uni one day, and didn’t notice the pothole in the road. She ended up breaking her ankle as she fell into said pothole! So, unfortunately, when it comes to multitasking, it’s more likely to cost you time and money than to save it.

    A study conducted by the University of California, Irvine found that it takes the average person 23 minutes to recover from one interruption and get back to the task at hand. And if you’re interrupted multiple times, that number can go up exponentially.

    So, how much are distractions costing you at work?

    Let’s say you’re interrupted three times an hour. That’s an hour of productive time lost every eight hours, or the equivalent of losing a whole day of work every week. And that’s just for starters.

    You will make mistakes if you constantly try to juggle multiple tasks. For instance, a study by the University of Pennsylvania found that people who were interrupted made 50% more errors than those who were not.

    And those errors can cost you, both in terms of time spent fixing them and in terms of lost business. In fact, the AICPA conducted a study that discovered that one in four businesses lost revenue due to employee mistakes. You may even be passed over for promotion due to last-minute completion of work.

    Research has repeatedly and consistently found that multitasking is not feasible with human cognitive functioning (Jeong & Hwang, 2016; Madore & Wagner, 2019). To take this one step further, in one study, only 2.4 percent of participants were found to be able to multitask effectively (Watson & Strayer, 2010). And most fascinating, Sanbonmatsu et al. (2013) reported that people who think they are good at multitasking are actually not good at it!

    Sometimes It’s The Office; Sometimes, It’s You

    Sometimes the distractions are not due to how your workplace is set up but how you use your time. When you’re constantly checking your phone or taking calls, your boss may not view you as fully focused on your work. After all, spending too much time socializing with co-workers or browsing the internet takes away from productive work time.

    To avoid these distractions, you must be mindful of your time management and focus while at work. For example, when coworkers want to chit-chat when you’re trying to get work done, you can politely say that you’re busy and need to focus on your work.

    You can also try working in a different area where fewer people are around to distract you. Finally, if the chit-chatting is bothering you, you can talk to your boss or HR about setting some boundaries with your coworkers.

    There are less aggressive things you can do even in an open office that gets the message across, such as posting a sign near your cubical or work area, or if you have an office door, shut it and put up a sign that you’re focusing on work right now to make an appointment.

    Next time you’re tempted to answer that text, check your email or chat with coworkers in the middle of a work task, think about how much it’s costing you. But, on the other hand, the thought of the cost might be enough to make you focus better on working. Distractions may cost your company a lot of money, but they also cost you in the long run if you miss out on important promotions, raises, or the respect you deserve.

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  • 7 Distractions That Negatively Affect Your Life

    7 Distractions That Negatively Affect Your Life

    7 Distractions That Negatively Affect Your Life

    Distractions are everywhere. They can significantly influence your life — inside and outside the workplace. If you’re not careful, they can hurt your learning ability, causing automobile accidents, drain your energy, affect your performance, increase stress, and more.

    If you want to sidestep the harmful consequences of distractions, it is helpful to be conscious of them. Then, once you know potential distractors, you can figure out how to stop them or lessen their effects.

    Cell phones

    A University of Sussex study found that simply having your cell phone within reach can hurt your performance on cognitive tasks. In fact, your brain is hardwired to respond to notifications – even when you’re not actively using your phone.

    Social media

    Checking social media can be a major time-suck, and it can also have a negative impact on your mood and mental health. For example, according to the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, self-esteem among regular social media users like Facebook suffers negatively. Moreover, they are more likely to compare themselves unfavorably to others.

    Email

    Checking email can be a major distraction, especially if you’re expecting an important message. A study by the Radicati Group found that the average person spends nearly two hours per day checking email, which is only expected to grow in the coming years.

    Pets and kids

    One study shows that having pets and kids at home can be massive sources of distraction for employees trying to get work done. But, of course, pet and human parents probably didn’t need the University of Minnesota study to prove this fact to them.

    Hunger or thirst:

    It is almost impossible to make your mind focus on anything else if you’re hungry or thirsty. Plus, many studies show that dehydration can lead to a decrease in cognitive performance.

    Chatty co-workers

    If you work in a typical office with cubicles, chances are you’ve had at least one or two chatty co-workers who seem to think your desk, or the cubical right by yours, is their personal chatting spot. This can be extraordinarily distracting and make it difficult to get work done.

    Noise

    Whether it’s the sound of traffic outside your window or the chatter of people in the next room, noise can be a significant distraction. A study by the University of California, Irvine, found that office noise can lead to a decrease in productivity and it can also increase stress levels.

    Fortunately, you can do a few things to minimize the impact of distractions in your life. If you’re working on anything requiring focus, try to find a quiet place to work. If you can’t avoid chatty co-workers, politely let them know that you’re trying to concentrate and ask them to come back later. And if you’re expecting an important email, turn off notifications, so you’re not constantly interrupted. Of course, you can always schedule time for email checking later.

    When you actively take the time to avoid distractions, you will improve your productivity, reduce stress, and live a happier, healthier, more prosperous life.

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  • How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

    How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

    Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

    Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

    Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

    While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

    Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

    Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

    Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

    If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

    The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

    A Better, More Successful Life Can Be Yours

    Living in the moment might feel difficult at first. That’s only because it’s a new thing and sometimes, new things feel scary. Just like learning to ride a bicycle, it gets easier the more you do it. If you keep trying, you’ll be putting your hands up and enjoying the ride in no time at all!

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  • 12 Reasons to Live in the NOW!

    12 Reasons to Live in the Now

    There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…

    Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.

    When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be.

    You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.

    Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.

    It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.

    Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.

    You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.

    Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.

    You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.

    Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.

     When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.

    Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.

    You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.

    Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.

    When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved.

    You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.

    Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.

    When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection.

    When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.

    Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.

    That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this.

    Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things.

    When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.

    Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.

    When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.

    Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.

    You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

    When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.

    These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else

    .Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.

    Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motive

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  • 5 Benefits of Self Care

    5 Benefits of Self Care

    Top 5 Benefits Of Self-Care

    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish – It’s Necessary

    Contrary to what you may have heard, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. When you’ve got commitments, responsibilities and obligations pulling at you from all angles, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you can’t afford the time or resources to care for yourself.

    The fact of the matter is that you can’t afford not to.

    Click Here to Join the FREE 5 Day CHOOSE YOU Challenge 

    Here are five reasons why self-care should be at the very top of your list of priorities.

    Top 5 Benefits Of Self-Care

    1-    Improves Your Self-Esteem

    First, engaging in regular self-care practices improves your self-esteem, both in obvious – and not so obvious – ways.

    On the surface, sure if you take time to care for your physical body by exercising, eating well, maintaining proper hygiene, and having a beauty regimen you’ll look and feel great on the outside. But caring for your mental and emotional health improves your self-esteem from the inside, too.

    A quick example is with a problem that so many people have in common – putting others first.

    If you tend to say “yes” to others a little more often than you’d like, sacrifice some of your own needs to make others happy, or riddle yourself with guilt for saying “no”, caring for your emotional health by slowing down, considering what it is you really want and need, and making authentic choices on how to spend your time and money would benefit you.

    While it may not seem like it on the surface, people-pleasing is a huge sign of low self-worth. Why do you feel like your wants and needs aren’t valid or important?

    Journaling your true feeling, taking time before accepting or denying requests from others, and blocking off personal time in your calendar are just a few examples of simple self-care activities that can help you boost your self-esteem from the inside out.

    2-    You Have More To Give To Others

    Second, while you may assume taking time to care for yourself means less time and energy you can spend on others, the reverse is true.

    If you happen to play a role in life where you care for others (for example a parent, work in healthcare or customer service, care for aging parents), it’s all too easy to spend all your time and energy attending to the needs of others.

    But what about you?

    Who takes care of you and makes sure that you are okay?

    Have you ever heard that saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”?

    Chances are that nobody cares for you the way you care for others, so your cup is probably running low. You’ll have to care for yourself or risk total and complete burnout – at which point you’re no good for anyone.

    Prioritizing your personal wellbeing is good for everyone. You’ll have so much more to give if you put yourself first at least some of the time.

    Click Here to Join the FREE 5 Day CHOOSE YOU Challenge 

    3-    Increased Productivity

    Third, one of the most important self-care practices you can get started on right away is making sure you get enough sleep. The average adult requires 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. Running on less than this has potential adverse effects that you may not have considered, such as weight gain, inflammation and poor mental health.

    But, one of the strongest benefits of getting enough rest is a boost in concentration and productivity.

    Imagine having a high-pressure meeting or presentation at work, or an important exam to take at school. Do you think you’d perform better if you stay up all night drinking coffee and cramming, or after a good night of rest?

    The answer is obvious.

    If you think you can’t get more sleep because your life is just too hectic and busy, start small! Start by setting a strict cutoff for when you’ll turn off your phone or laptop and go to bed. Then, try going to bed just ten minutes earlier for a while. Even if you don’t fall asleep right away, you’ll be training your body and mind to get into sleep mode.

    Once you get used to that, you can slowly add more time. It really works!

    4-    Get To Know Yourself Better

    We humans are constantly changing, evolving and growing. And if you’re reading this right now, chances are personal growth is high on your list of priorities. So, it’s important to you.

    Well, if you don’t regularly spend quality time with yourself, evaluating different aspects of your life, setting goals, tracking progress, and examining yourself, how do you stay familiar with who you are once you’ve changed?

    Unless you intentionally work on this, you don’t.

    It’s not possible to outgrow the perception you have of yourself unless you establish a self-care practice that supports self-understanding.

    Some ideas for self-care that will help you explore who you are include journaling (specifically reviewing old journal entries to compare your progress over time), meditation, and pursuing hobbies that involve creativity (making art, writing literature, playing instruments).

    5-    Healthy Management Of Emotions

    Someone who doesn’t have a strong self-care regimen is highly likely to crumble under stress, anger or disappointment. This doesn’t have to be you.

    Even the luckiest people on the planet have bad days. We lose loved ones, suffer broken hearts, don’t achieve goals we set out to conquer…

    Without a solid self-care toolbox, it’s so easy to turn to unhealthy habits such as drinking to excess, seeking comfort by overindulging in food or shopping, or even becoming avoidant – neglecting our responsibilities completely. These only make bad situations even worse.

    When you have great coping mechanisms for when you’re sad, angry, stressed or hurt, you’re able to deal with negative events in much healthier ways.

    You’ll still feel the negative emotions – mind you – but you’ll be able to manage them. And that makes a world of difference in your overall life experience.

    Click Here to Join the FREE 5 Day CHOOSE YOU Challenge 

    Final Thoughts

    While it may seem on the surface that you don’t have time or money to prioritize your personal wellbeing, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. In fact, you can find subtle ways to integrate it into your daily life so that you can experience all the peace, positivity and progress you deserve.

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  • Boundaries

    Boundaries

     

     

    • Setting Boundaries

    • If you have difficulty putting your own needs above those of others, you no doubt have issues with setting personal boundaries. Many of us struggle with this today. It seems more than ever before that people seem to be happy to let others pick up their slack or avoid taking responsibility for themselves and their actions.What this means, to those of us who lack firm boundaries, is that we are the ones who take responsibility for others and pick up the slack. It is up to each of us to determine what we are comfortable doing in any relationship so that we stop feeling manipulated and can enjoy our lives.

    • Do You Need Stronger Personal Boundaries?

    • How do you know if you could use a shoring up of your boundaries?
    • Answer these questions to find out:Do you believe your happiness depends on others?
      • Are you unable to say no, even when you want to?
      • Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
      • Are you more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of yourself?
      • Do you feel constantly drained by all you have to do?
      • Do you always go only with what other people want instead of voicing your desires? Maybe because it’s simpler like that or because you are afraid of making someone angry?
    • If you recognize yourself in many of these questions, fear not! Next, we are going to discover how to set healthy personal boundaries and provide ways you can get started creating yours today.

    • Healthy Personal Boundaries

    • What is a healthy personal boundary? You deserve to choose to say no to taking on others’ responsibilities and choosing how you spend your time. Setting healthy personal boundaries isn’t about barricading yourself behind a wall, so you don’t get hurt, it’s about respecting yourself enough to admit what you want and demand it from others in your life.
    • Setting strong personal boundaries is an absolute must on your journey to making yourself a priority in your own life. Building healthy boundaries is one of the best ways you can put yourself and your needs first. They protect you from being taken advantage of, of being a doormat.
    • Personal boundaries also teach others how to treat you—with respect and care. Your boundaries should stay firm and clear, though you can choose in what situations to allow them to be flexible. They aid you in discovering your true self and making sure you live life on your terms. They develop your self-awareness and self-respect.

    • Steps to Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries

    • Now that you understand what boundaries are and you know yours should be stronger, let’s look at the steps to begin setting yours today. It’s important to realize and remember that setting boundaries is not a one-time deal. This process is learned, and everyone can do it!
    • Understand Yourself
    • The first thing you need to do is decide how you want to be treated by others. One excellent way to begin this journey of self-discovery is to start a journal.
    • Clarify your Values
    • When we focus on other people’s needs and wants only, we stop spending time on ourselves to discover what we want and need. Now’s the time to change that!
    • You may want to clarify what you value in your life, what you want more of in your life, what are your deepest desires? Once you know what you desire and value in life, you’ll be able to use those to make decisions about how you spend your time and energy. Anything that doesn’t align with them will get an automatic, no thanks.
    • Choose Your Company
    • Just because you’ve always eaten lunch with a co-worker or been friends with someone for years doesn’t mean you have to continue. Now that you are more aware of what you want, it’s a great time to re-evaluate who you spend time with and who your friends are. Choose to enjoy time with people who respect your boundaries and who are positive and supportive.
    • Pause
    • When someone asks you to take care of something or attend a function, you should pause before you answer. Say you’ll have to check your calendar and get back to them. That will give you the time and space to decide if it’s something you genuinely want to take part in or not.
    • Accept the Process
    • Because making yourself a priority and putting boundaries in place is a process you must accept that you won’t always deal with situations correctly. There will be slip ups! Learn from each experience and keep going. Be kind to yourself and accept that all journeys have their ups and downs.
    • Feel into your Body
    • When a situation occurs, or you are asked to take on a new responsibility, check in with your body. How do you feel within yourself? Do you feel relaxed? Are you naturally smiling? Or, are your shoulders tight? Is your stomach queasy? Get to know how your emotions show up in your body.
    •  Beware the Vampires
    • Now that you know you can use your body as a reaction gage begin noticing how it feels around different people. We all have to deal with the occasional energy vampire—a person who drains you of energy just by being around them. Using your body as your guide, notice who saps your energy and then find ways to weed them out of your life. You’ll be much happier without them.
    •  Resist the Urge to Fix
    • Have you ever noticed how many people come to you to vent their frustration and anger or ask for advice or help? It will take some practice, but resist the urge to fix their lives for them. Instead, show compassion and empathy.
    • Embrace Flexibility
    • Just because you have set personal boundaries doesn’t mean you have to say a firm no to everything. Each situation is a bit different. You may find as time goes on you want to alter your boundaries. That’s perfectly normal. Your new motto should be “If it feels right, do it.”

    • Tips for Stating Your Boundaries

    •  Creating and maintaining your limits is a process that will become easier the more you practice.
    • Don’t worry. We aren’t going to leave you to your own devices on how to go about standing up for yourself! You may be worried that putting boundaries in place will turn you into a selfish, harsh person. But trust us when we say that there are ways to do this that are kind and gentle. Below are some suggestions to stand up for yourself without feeling like a monster.Stating your boundaries isn’t a commentary. Don’t give into the feeling that you need to explain or defend your decision. The other person doesn’t have the right to judge or comment on your decision.
      • If someone starts to beg or argue with you after you set a boundary, simply restate your original explanation and end the conversation. Be firm, but courteous.
      • Use unassuming, direct language when standing your ground. Don’t give excuses or explain why you’ve come to this decision. You only need to state your answer or choice.
      • If you have judgmental people in your life, start drawing attention to your needs by telling them that it’s not okay with you for them to criticize.
      • Remember, pausing before agreeing to something is your new best friend.
      • If someone is offended or angered by your new boundaries, keep in mind that is their issue. When you start to stand your ground, they won’t like it. But don’t back down! Soon they’ll be someone else’s problem.
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  • You Matter

    You Matter

    We spend our days rushing from one task to another at work and home only to drop into our beds at midnight, completely exhausted. Our society has changed a great deal since our parents were in their prime. Today we are addicted to speed, see busyness as a status symbol, take care of not only our children, but also our aging parent, and work as many hours as possible to keep ahead of the Jones’. It’s no wonder most of us ignore ourselves and our needs. It seems like there’s simply not the time to do more than grab food on the go and snag a few hours of sleep before starting it all again.

     

    Have you ever stopped to wonder if this is the way you want to live? We somehow find it easier to make time for other people’s needs than we do our own. And, those who do make it a priority to find time for themselves, are considered selfish and self-centered. Since we certainly don’t want others to view us in that way, we soldier on, pushing through instead. Whereas what we need to do is to take a break so that we can take care of ourselves and our energy. Everyone deserves to thrive in life, not just survive one day to the next!

     

    Of course, it’s easier to say we’ll start putting ourselves first than it is to do. With all the time pressures we feel, self-care can feel like just one more thing on our to-do list. However, it’s vital to our physical and mental health to start making ourselves a priority! It’s not just a nice idea. It’s not about taking a yearly vacation (if we’re lucky). It’s not even about taking the occasional trip to the day spa or enjoying a day on the golf course. Choosing to put yourself first needs to be an ongoing, daily habit.

     

    Why is putting our own needs first so vital to health, happiness, and success?

     

    • It staves off burn-out
    • It sets you up to live a fulfilled, joyful life
    • It keeps you focused on what’s important
    • It helps you refocus when you feel overwhelmed or at a loss as to what should come next
    • It aids in recuperating from stress so that it doesn’t build up

     

    If you would like to begin making yourself a priority, but don’t know where to start, you are in the right place. Download your FREE Choose You Checklist HERE.  By the time you put some of these suggestions into practice, you’ll not only acknowledge that putting yourself is worth the effort, but you’ll know how to make it happen! You’ll be totally on board and moving towards living a reality where self-care and filling your cup first isn’t a reward, but a necessity.

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  • Why Living in the Now Makes You More Resilient

    Why Living in the Now Makes You More Resilient

    Why Living in the Now Makes You More Resilient

    Living in the now stops the mental chatter that consistently goes on in your mind. This chatter is what keeps you thinking about what happened yesterday, what’s going to go on at work tomorrow and all the hundred and one responsibilities you have on your plate.

    When you’re fully present, the things that you do right now become your goal rather than being the destination. For example, this could be something like learning to play a new instrument. You spend time enjoying the practice and the art of learning rather than focusing your attention on the complex song that you want to be able to play once you learn the instrument.

    You’ll learn to eat less but enjoy more. When you feel the strong desire to go and get a snack or you want something you know isn’t good for you, living in the now helps you to overcome these cravings.

    It does this because you realize all you have to make it through is this moment. You don’t have to worry about what you’re going to do for tomorrow’s mid-morning junk food hunger pangs.

    Each little moment of the new becomes its own success story. That empowers you and makes you more resilient so you’re able to handle the next difficulty that arises.

    If you have a goal to lose weight, living in the now helps you not to focus on the entire twenty pounds. Instead, you can focus on losing what you can today, one pound at a time. You keep your attention on what you’re eating now, what exercises you’re doing today. You don’t worry about how you’re going to beat a future plateau. Mindfulness allows you to enjoy what you eat, to feel the texture, to appreciate the aroma and to delight in the taste. You enjoy your food more when you live in the now.

    Change becomes easier. Just focus on one little change at a time. In the end, the little changes add up to successfully reaching your goal. Living in the now helps you stay in control. It also helps you overcome self-defeating thoughts and habits such as drinking too much, smoking, skipping sleep, or skipping meals.

    Taking care of yourself becomes more doable when you’re living in the now. You can concentrate on one healthy action at a time. Eating a healthy snack, going to bed earlier, or walking around the block today are good examples.

    You don’t have to concentrate on making sure you get to the gym every single day of the week. All you have to put your focus on is working out today. You don’t even have to focus on making sure you exercise for thirty minutes. You just complete whatever exercise you’re doing during the moment.

    Reaching your goals will become easier. You’ll be able to make your plans by focusing on which step you have to do right now. You don’t have to have all the answers today. You simply need the first step. That first step is what leads you to being able to handle whatever it is you want to do in life.

    This will help you stop feeling overwhelmed with large projects. Instead, you’ll choose to look at the small steps and accomplish those, which become a completed project.

    As you develop this resilience, you can quickly learn how to understand yourself. This helps you to stop living with stress or worry or anxiety about situations.

    When you feel upset about something, take a moment to focus on yourself. If you feel dread or fear, take a deep breath and allow your subconscious to come to the forefront of your mind. You’ll be able to connect the emotion with the thought that was used to create it.

    For example, you may realize that you felt dread after hearing your partner mention that layoffs were happening at his or her place of employment. When you focus on connecting that information with the present emotion and physical reaction, it’ll help you to see that your dread isn’t permanent.

    By addressing it, you’ll be able to let it go rather than allow the dread to continue to build to the point where you feel fearful about your future.

    Let resilience improve the moments in your life. When you live in the now, it can help you to become more aware of what you’re doing that could have a negative effect. For example, hitting the snooze button repeatedly can cause you to sleep in, wake feeling groggy, and leave you rushing around in the morning in order to get to your job or school.

    By being mindful, you’re aware of the value of your time. You become aware of how one moment affects the next.

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  • How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

    How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

    How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

     

    Everyone wants to have healthy strong relationships but not many people know that living in the now is exactly how you develop those types of relationships. It’s all about what you choose to focus on in the relationship that makes all the difference in the world.

    Being fully present lets you look at the foundation of your relationships and allows you to be nurturing rather than wasting time and effort trying to fix what you believe is wrong with the other person. When you’re living in the now, you develop a deeper level of kindness and connection toward the other person.

    Rather than rehashing and reacting to what you perceive are flaws—or even what irritates you about the other person—living in the now lets you become accepting. When you accept other people as they are, they tend not to be as defensive. Their guard is lowered and true bonds can be formed. You’ll be able to grow within the relationship. As a result, you can change the tone of the interactions you have with those you care about. When you live in the present, you have relationships where love and honesty are at the forefront. This allows the relationship to flourish. So if you’re ready to nurture your relationships, here’s what you can do to strengthen your bond today…

    Practice paying attention.

    When the other person is speaking, give them your full focus. When you multitask as someone is talking to you, it makes them feel like they’re not important enough for your full attention. By giving half of your attention away when someone else needs you to be present, you’re robbing yourself and them of the full benefit and enjoyment of your relationship. However, when you pay attention, you’re living in the moment. This deepens the level of the relationship and allows you to feel closer to the other person.

    Check your emotions by being in the present.

    When you’re in the present, you’re not allowing the emotions from the past to interfere with your relationship. Constantly holding onto things that bothered you then allowing those things to remain in your thoughts or to come out during an argument can erode the relationship over time. Your emotions become heightened when you carry past baggage into the present. You end up saying things that you may not truly mean. This happens because you’re not speaking with present emotions but with past ones. Checking your emotions allows you to break the circle of constantly fighting over the same things.

    Teach yourself.

    Use living in the moment to guide you on how to deal with relationships now. Look for self-teaching moments. This is when you stop and check in with yourself. Ask what the best way is to handle the situation. Look to see if you reacted emotionally and created friction rather than acted mindfully and created peace. What checking yourself does is boost the strength of the relationship. You’re not busy looking at what the other person is doing. Instead, you’re focusing on what your responsibility is. Being mindful enables you to control and manage your feelings and actions. It also means you don’t have to be in control of the outcome of the relationship. You’re free to let it evolve. In the end, the only person you’re capable of changing or improving is yourself. When you focus on strengthening the relationship, it lets the other person “off the hook.” Taking off that pressure prompts others to feel better and react differently toward you.

    Create the future you want.

    When you behave mindfully in any relationship, it shapes how it will be in the future. Many people have hopes of loving, fulfilling, relationships but don’t realize that today’s behaviors and words create that. If you want love and peace, you have to plant and cultivate those seeds.

    Let go of your expectations.

    Living in the moment makes you let other people off the hook. People won’t follow the script that you have in your head. They won’t react as kindly or as romantically as you had hoped and sometimes, this can be painful. When you keep your focus on the now, it lets you see past the surface of that person’s response. You’ll develop empathy and realize that the other person is under stress or they’re worried or something is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Being mindful allows you to take a step back to see the truth.

    Own up to what’s happening.

    Living in the now helps you to deal with whatever issues are going on in a relationship rather than ducking it. Every relationship has flaws because humans have flaws. Some flaws can be so big that if not dealt with, it can wreck the relationship. You can strengthen it by approaching the other person with your feelings now. This helps you not to lay blame and use words that are guaranteed to make the other person defensive like “You always” which is accusatory. Instead, living in the now will help you to address other person calmly. You’ll be able to change the tone by saying, “Right now, I feel let down,” and that enables the conversation to start and the situation to be resolved.

    Set your intention each day.

    Let mindfulness make you more forgiving toward those in your life that you care about. When you get up each morning, think of two things that you can do to help the relationship grow closer. This might be two acts of kindness such as leaving a caring voicemail, writing a note or simply saying, “I love you and I’m on your side.” Your relationships take work. However, living in the now makes it easier to strengthen your bond and build the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

     

     

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  • 12 Reasons to Live in the Now

    12 Reasons to Live in the Now

    12 Reasons to Live in the Now

     

    There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…

    Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.

    When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be. You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.

    Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.

    It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.

    Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.

    You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.

    Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.

    You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.

    Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.

     When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.

    Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.

    You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.

    Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.

    When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved. You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.

    Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.

    When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection. When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.

    Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.

    That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this. Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things. When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.

    Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.

    When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.

    Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.

    You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else

    .Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.

    Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motives.

    Next Step: If you need help to start living in the Now, with the current world pandemic, then book HERE for a FREE 30 minute How to Live in the Now coaching session.

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