fbpx

Lyn Bailey – Life by Design

Tag: healthylife

  • 7 Steps to Focus

    7 Steps to Focus

    7 Steps to Focus

    How do you get the most out of your day?
    Where do you find the extra hours you want to pursue your passion or live your life to the fullest?
    What is the secret to unlocking that extra time to do what you love to do, instead of what you think you have to do?
    Women are very capable of multitasking. As mothers, we are even more capable of it. Employers encourage it. Unfortunately, statistics show that multitasking decreases our productivity, no matter what we are doing.
    “About 2.5% of subjects can multitask without performing worse at either task, in controlled studies. These are being dubbed “supertaskers.””
    Psychonomic Bulletin and Review, 5/2010
    While many people aspire to be “supertaskers”, only 2.5% succeed. For the rest of us, that means that we decrease our focus and attention on each of the tasks we are tackling at any given time. How do we change this, I hear you ask. The answer is simple – FOCUS.

    7 Steps to Focus
    1. Have Goals – know what you want. Set clear, concise goals so that you know what you want and when you want it.
    2. Avoid Multitasking – multitasking is not the best use of your time. Block out 1-2 hour blocks to focus on your goal.
    3. Take Regular Breaks – give yourself a short 5 minute break every hour to keep yourself rested and hydrated.
    4. Identify Distractions – identify your 3 greatest distractions and take steps to eliminate them.
    5. To Do list – this will keep you on track as you will always know what the next step is.
    6. Keep Your Eyes and Mind on the Prize –Focus on the end result until you achieve it. This will keep you motivated and moving forward towards your goal.
    7. Reward Yourself – Decide at the outcome how you will reward yourself when you achieve your goal, then reward yourself on completion. You deserve it!
    Go for it now. Start to give yourself time to see the Power of Focus as you incorporate it into your day and your life.

    If you need  help in changing OR any of these in your life right now, book  a FREE 30 minute Strategy Session HERE.

     

    Share this by clicking below:

  • 7 Questions To Ask When You Think You’re Procrastinating

    7 Questions To Ask When You Think You’re Procrastinating

     

    Do you sometimes find yourself making that second cup of coffee instead of taking action to get you moving towards your desired outcome? If so, you are not alone. I have done just that this morning. My intention was to get this blog written and published today. I had set myself a schedule to do this from 9-10.30am. So, what did I do at 9am? I made myself a cup of coffee, then decided to read  some emails, did some Facebook posts, chatted to a friend I finished my coffee, then decided to make a second one. I realised that I was procrastinating. Why was I doing this? I asked myself the first question below.Is writing a blog exciting enough to get me out of my comfy chair to sit at my desk, The answer was NO. So I asked myself what would make writing a blog my exciting for me. The answer that came up for me was this. “I am writing this blog to help those people who are holding themselves back from achieving their full potential, so that they can start to take action to turn their dreams into reality and make this the best, most successful and productive year of their lives.” Now, I am excited to be sitting at my desk writing this blog post starting at 10.30 with enthusiasm and gratitude.

    If you struggle with procrastination, you know the detrimental effects it can have on goal achievement. But instead of beating yourself up for failing to get going, consider a different approach. Here are seven questions that will help you overcome procrastination and achieve higher levels of success.

    1- Do your goals excite you?

    First, ask whether your goals excite you. You may think you’re procrastinating when the problem is you’re not motivated.

    There are tasks we all have to complete daily. Not all of them are thrilling. But if your goal is to finish your book by the end of the year, for example, and you find yourself struggling to get going? Consider that the problem may be that you lack passion for the project itself, not your overall drive.

    To remedy this, think of other tasks in your life. Are you generally unable to get going? Or is it with just one or two things that you find dull and boring?

    Perhaps you need new goals.

    2- Are you healthy?

    Next, ask yourself if you’ve taken care of your health. It’s much easier to find the energy to work on long-term goals when you’re eating nutritious foods, drinking enough water, and getting enough daily exercise.

    On the other hand, if you’ve got too many poor habits like drinking too much alcohol, remaining sedentary, and eating poorly, your issue could be your health.

    If you can improve your health and wellness routine, do so. See if that helps give you enough energy to avoid procrastination.

    3- What could you get done if you quit procrastinating?

    Third, it’s time to daydream for a second. Think of all the juicy details behind what you might be able to accomplish if you quit procrastinating.

    Could you finally have that dream body you’ve been craving? Might you get that promotion at work? Will you, at last, start your side business?

    Sometimes all you need is a gentle reminder of how good life is on the other side of effort.

    4- Can you reframe it as an opportunity?

    Next, you may find it useful to reframe the situation. Let’s say you dread going to the gym. Could you think of how lucky you are to have such an opportunity, instead of thinking of the negative?

    How fantastic is it that you have the funds to afford a gym membership? How grateful are you that you have a healthy enough body to move around, run, lift, stretch, and sweat? Isn’t it outstanding that even if you’re busy, you can make the time to engage in self-care practices such as this?

    It’s not that you “have to” go to the gym. It’s that you “get to” go to the gym.

    5- Are you overcommitted?

    Beyond that, consider that you may have too much on your plate. Burnout is a real thing. And if left unchecked, it can cause you to lose productivity when you’d otherwise be on top of things.

    Ask yourself if you’re procrastinating or if you don’t have the time or resources you need to get everything done.

    6- What’s essential and what can wait?

    Along similar lines, you might want to do a brain dump of all your responsibilities. Laying it all in front of you will help you determine what’s essential and what can wait. Sometimes if you want to get going, you have to trim the fat. Much of what we pressure ourselves to complete is just busywork. Eliminate the non-essentials and see if your productivity improves.

    7- What’s your reward?

    Finally, make sure you have a healthy reward system in place to meet your goals. While goal-achievement is rewarding, knowing there’s an even brighter light at the end of the tunnel may prove motivating.

    We spend much time bashing ourselves for mistakes and shortcomings. It’s important to celebrate our wins, too.

    Final Thoughts

    Sometimes procrastination can get the better of you, but things aren’t always what they seem. The next time you worry about your productivity level, ask yourself these seven questions. You may discover a quick solution to your problem.

    If you need  help in changing any of these in your life right now, book  a FREE 30 minute Strategy Session HERE.

    Share this by clicking below:
  • 12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

    12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

    When we have been hurt, it’s very easy to feel that life is not fair. I remember when my marriage broke up after 34 years, I felt a lot of hurt, emotional pain and resentment after my husband left me for another woman. It took me a long time to get over these feelings. Eventually, I started to realise that I was 100% responsible for how I felt, which meant I had a choice in any given moment. I could choose to feel the hurt and pain, or I could choose to feel grateful for the 34 years we had shared, and, specifically, grateful for the 4 beautiful children we had brought into the world and the joy I feel every day being a mum.

     

    It made me realise that all I needed to do was to nurture my own personal freedom, rather than letting someone else have control over that freedom.

     

    If you want to take back control over your freedom, here are 12 tips to get you started.

     

    12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

     

    There’s a lot of pressure to conform to society’s definition of success. Right from school, you hear that there is pretty much one path. A good job, a one-way upwards career trajectory, a family, big house, lots of money. But your personal freedom doesn’t get mentioned. Nor does inner peace. But you don’t have to step too far outside your regular life to allow space for greater contentment, and freedom from the anxieties and pressures of modern life.

     

    There are some key things you can do right now to nurture your personal freedom and achieve greater contentment with your life.

     

    1. Let go of past hurts and sufferings, acknowledging what you have learned along the way.
    2. Believe in your heart that you deserve love and good things in your life and that you wish these for the other people in your life.
    3. Act kindly in your interactions with other people, whether it’s friends, family, colleagues or the person you walk past in the street. People will remember how you treated them long after they have forgotten your words.
    4. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you mostly do the best you can. And when you make a mistake, you learn from it and do better.
    5. Acknowledge that you have control only over your actions and reactions. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond to them.
    6. Own your past mistakes but do not let them define you.
    7. Be at peace with change and accept that it is part of the ebb and flow of life.
    8. Set goals to achieve what you want out of life but be flexible and prepared to adapt to changing circumstances.
    9. Don’t compare your life to others, especially as they present themselves on social media. People always display their best sides and rarely acknowledge weakness or when things are going badly.
    10. Choose to be compassionate. Most people are trying to do their best most of the time.
    11. Be grateful for where you are, and what you have right now. Don’t get caught up in a dissatisfaction loop where the other guy’s life looks better. Chances are you are already living an abundant life.
    12. Learn to relax and allow things to be, rather than try to second guess all the time. Adopt the Buddhist philosophy of detachment, breathe, and let go of anxiety. Allow and trust that the Universe will give you what you need.
    Share this by clicking below:

  • Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

    Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

    When you want to live in the now, there are obstacles that can get in the way and stop you from being fully present.

    Distractions are one of these. You can set a goal to be more present then it seems like one thing after another happens to get in the way of that goal. Sometimes these distractions can be problems at home or work. They could also be thoughts or habits that keep cropping up.

    Closely linked to the problem of distractions is stress. When you’re under stress, it can be hard to keep your mind’s focus where you want it to be. That’s because your brain is busy trying to solve the current crisis.

    Your body starts to react to stress in ways that aren’t conducive to living in the present. When your breathing and your body aren’t calm, it’s much harder to soothe your mind and focus your thoughts.

    Too many demands on you physically can also be an obstacle to keep you from being mindful. When you reach the end of your physical strength, it can be hard to find the mental strength that you need.

    If you’re not feeling well, you’re tired, or you’re under stress, your mind will have a harder time keeping the focus where it needs to be.

    Any time that a physical need is present, it can be an obstacle. If you’re thirsty, your mind might want to focus on that only. If you’re hungry, your mind might not be able to focus on anything but food.

    When a physical need nags at the back of your subconscious mind, you can have a lot of trouble centreing your mind on anything else. When you want to practice living in the present, you need to be sure that no physical needs are distracting you from reaching the level of awareness.

    If you have a cold or other health ailment, that can be an obstacle. If you have a headache, toothache or are hurting anywhere in your body, those can make it difficult to achieve a state of focus for being present. It could be that all you can think about is how bad you’re feeling or how much pain you’re in. Any physical issues that are going on should be dealt with first.

    Having a time crunch is another roadblock to mindfulness. If your life is so packed with activities and responsibilities that fitting one more thing in it seems overwhelming, you’ll have difficulty obtaining the awareness needed for living in the present.

    Your own thoughts can get in the way, too. Thinking that you’re not good enough or that you can’t keep your focus is a common obstacle. Many people make the mistake of thinking that living in the present is something they can do just by wanting it.

    However, it’s something that takes both effort and consistency. If you gently bring your focus back around each time you lose it, then you will eventually be able to live in the present for longer periods.

    When it’s difficult is when many people give up. They want instant results and being mindful isn’t something that happens overnight. You need to work at it even when it’s not as easy as you’d like it to be.

    Whatever you’re doing right now, try to stop a moment and pause. Take a breath and refocus. This is a simple way that you can calm your racing mind and body so that you can be fully present.

    Share this by clicking below:

  • Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

    Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

    Being present can be difficult to achieve because doing so can trigger feelings of discomfort. The discomfort comes from thinking you must be completely within the present without slipping up.

     

    When something does happen to shake your focus, it can make you feel like you’ve failed to achieve living in the now. However, being present isn’t something that has a success or failure scorecard. It’s simply learning how to pick up on the situations when you’re not practicing living in the moment and gently course correcting.

     

    It can be hard to be in the present because you might get caught up in the mundane. There’s nothing peaceful about the stresses of life. When the dishwasher floods or the car breaks down, it can be easy to start daydreaming, rather than focusing on what’s currently going on in your life.

     

    Living in the present is something that can take practice. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits. You can find yourself handling life the way you’ve always done. Your habits are your “go-to” response and your brain can automatically fall back into those thought processes.

     

    When this happens and you realize that your mind and your reactions are opposite of living in the now, you can always hit reset. Just because you think you blew it doesn’t mean that you did.

     

    Everyone will have times when they forget to focus, especially when life gets hectic. However, as soon as you’re aware that’s happening, you can pause and start fresh.

     

    It can be hard to be present when you’re in the middle of something that’s stressing you out or making you angry or sad. This is totally normal. It’s common to have difficulty concentrating or focusing when you’re in the middle of a crisis.

     

     

    That’s why you want to focus on learning to “live in the now” even if your life seems peaceful and calm at this moment. Then when difficult things happen, you’ll be able to maintain your peacefulness because you’ve spent time practicing.

     

    Some people struggle to be present because they fear living in the moment means they’re going to be handing over control. Sometimes, it’s easier to think that if you worry about something or fret over it; you can prevent bad things from happening simply because you pre-worried.

     

    However, living fully in the moment isn’t about giving up control. It’s about focusing your awareness so that you don’t waste valuable energy worrying about what has happened or what might happen. Instead, you’re experiencing fullness of life exactly where you are.

    Share this by clicking below:
  • How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

    How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

    Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

    Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

    Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

    While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

    Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

    Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

    Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

    If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

    The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

    A Better, More Successful Life Can Be Yours

    Living in the moment might feel difficult at first. That’s only because it’s a new thing and sometimes, new things feel scary. Just like learning to ride a bicycle, it gets easier the more you do it. If you keep trying, you’ll be putting your hands up and enjoying the ride in no time at all!

    Share this by clicking below:
  • How to become Resilient Through Mindfulness

    How to become Resilient Through Mindfulness

    How to Become Resilient through Mindfulness

     

    The first way to become resilient through mindfulness is to refuse to see a problem as unending. When problems or negative situations occur in your life, don’t fall into the trap of believing that they’re going to last forever. This lets a hopeless mindset develop.

     

    When you have problems, they can sometimes interfere with your life plans or impede your goals. However, you shouldn’t give up and quit going after what you want. If you do that, you’re effectively saying that your problems are bigger than your ability to overcome them.

     

    Develop the mindset of “this is temporary.” List ways or action steps that you can take to overcome the situation. Next, embrace change. If there’s one guarantee in life it’s that is that no two days are the same.

     

    You might plan to live in the city then you lose your job and the opportunity that opened up for you is on the other coast. When you embrace change, you’re open to opportunities even though they may not always appear in the way you hoped they would.

     

    The third way to become resilient is to refuse to sit still. When you want something in life or you have a dream, don’t allow inaction to take it from you. Every day, do something that takes you closer to achieving your goal.

     

    If your goal is to own your own business, this might be something like signing up for a business class or writing out a business plan. If you want to get healthier, it could be something simple such as getting rid of the food in your house that causes you to binge eat.

     

    The next thing you should do is make decisions sooner rather than later. Avoidance doesn’t solve issues and it doesn’t get you where you need to be. If there’s a relationship issue, you need to handle, do it. If you’re interested in talking to someone, make a move and speak up.

     

    While you’re making decisions, resolve to change your self-view. Many people think far less of themselves than they should. You downplay your accomplishments. You look at the negative things about yourself by thinking you’re too awkward, too big, or too small.

    You don’t like the way you look, the way you voice sounds. However, by learning how to think of yourself in a positive way, you bolster not only your self-esteem but your belief that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.

     

    Finally, negative things happen, look for the positive. There’s always something good to find about everything that happens. However, the problem is that most people focus on the negative and then miss the good. That’s not to say that everything that comes into your life will feel good but it can work out for your good.

    Share this by clicking below:
  • Why Living in the NOW Makes You More Resilient

    Why Living in the NOW Makes You More Resilient

    Why Living in the Now Makes You More Resilient

     

    Living in the now stops the mental chatter that consistently goes on in your mind. This chatter is what keeps you thinking about what happened yesterday, what’s going to go on at work tomorrow and all the hundred and one responsibilities you have on your plate.

    When you’re fully present, the things that you do right now become your goal rather than being the destination. For example, this could be something like learning to play a new instrument. You spend time enjoying the practice and the art of learning rather than focusing your attention on the complex song that you want to be able to play once you learn the instrument.

    You’ll learn to eat less but enjoy more. When you feel the strong desire to go and get a snack or you want something you know isn’t good for you, living in the now helps you to overcome these cravings.

    It does this because you realize all you have to make it through is this moment. You don’t have to worry about what you’re going to do for tomorrow’s mid-morning junk food hunger pangs.

    Each little moment of the new becomes its own success story. That empowers you and makes you more resilient so you’re able to handle the next difficulty that arises.

    If you have a goal to lose weight, living in the now helps you not to focus on the entire twenty pounds. Instead, you can focus on losing what you can today, one pound at a time. You keep your attention on what you’re eating now, what exercises you’re doing today. You don’t worry about how you’re going to beat a future plateau. Mindfulness allows you to enjoy what you eat, to feel the texture, to appreciate the aroma and to delight in the taste. You enjoy your food more when you live in the now.

    Change becomes easier. Just focus on one little change at a time. In the end, the little changes add up to successfully reaching your goal. Living in the now helps you stay in control. It also helps you overcome self-defeating thoughts and habits such as drinking too much, smoking, skipping sleep, or skipping meals.

    Taking care of yourself becomes more doable when you’re living in the now. You can concentrate on one healthy action at a time. Eating a healthy snack, going to bed earlier, or walking around the block today are good examples.

    You don’t have to concentrate on making sure you get to the gym every single day of the week. All you have to put your focus on is working out today. You don’t even have to focus on making sure you exercise for thirty minutes. You just complete whatever exercise you’re doing during the moment.

    Reaching your goals will become easier. You’ll be able to make your plans by focusing on which step you have to do right now. You don’t have to have all the answers today. You simply need the first step. That first step is what leads you to being able to handle whatever it is you want to do in life.

    This will help you stop feeling overwhelmed with large projects. Instead, you’ll choose to look at the small steps and accomplish those, which become a completed project.

    As you develop this resilience, you can quickly learn how to understand yourself. This helps you to stop living with stress or worry or anxiety about situations.

    When you feel upset about something, take a moment to focus on yourself. If you feel dread or fear, take a deep breath and allow your subconscious to come to the forefront of your mind. You’ll be able to connect the emotion with the thought that was used to create it.

    For example, you may realize that you felt dread after hearing your partner mention that layoffs were happening at his or her place of employment. When you focus on connecting that information with the present emotion and physical reaction, it’ll help you to see that your dread isn’t permanent.

    By addressing it, you’ll be able to let it go rather than allow the dread to continue to build to the point where you feel fearful about your future.

    Let resilience improve the moments in your life. When you live in the now, it can help you to become more aware of what you’re doing that could have a negative effect. For example, hitting the snooze button repeatedly can cause you to sleep in, wake feeling groggy, and leave you rushing around in the morning in order to get to your job or school.

    By being mindful, you’re aware of the value of your time. You become aware of how one moment affects the next

    Share this by clicking below:

  • 12 Reasons to Live in the NOW!

    12 Reasons to Live in the Now

    There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…

    Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.

    When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be.

    You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.

    Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.

    It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.

    Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.

    You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.

    Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.

    You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.

    Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.

     When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.

    Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.

    You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.

    Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.

    When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved.

    You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.

    Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.

    When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection.

    When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.

    Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.

    That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this.

    Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things.

    When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.

    Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.

    When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.

    Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.

    You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

    When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.

    These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else

    .Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.

    Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motive

    Share this by clicking below:

  • How Living in the NOW Strengthens Your Relationships

    How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

     

     

    Everyone wants to have healthy strong relationships but not many people know that living in the now is exactly how you develop those types of relationships. It’s all about what you choose to focus on in the relationship that makes all the difference in the world.

    Being fully present lets you look at the foundation of your relationships and allows you to be nurturing rather than wasting time and effort trying to fix what you believe is wrong with the other person.

    When you’re living in the now, you develop a deeper level of kindness and connection toward the other person.

    than rehashing and reacting to what you perceive are flaws—or even what irritates you about the other person—living in the now lets you become accepting. When you accept other people as they are, they tend not to be as defensive. Their guard is lowered and true bonds can be formed.

    You’ll be able to grow within the relationship. As a result, you can change the tone of the interactions you have with those you care about. When you live in the present, you have relationships where loving honesty are at the forefront. This allows the relationship to flourish. So if you’re ready to nurture your relationships, here’s what you can do to strengthen your bond today…

    Practice paying attention.

    When the other person is speaking, give them your full focus. When you multitask as someone is talking to you, it makes them feel like they’re not important enough for your full attention.

    By giving half of your attention away when someone else needs you to be present, you’re robbing yourself and them of the full benefit and enjoyment of your relationship. However, when you pay attention, you’re living in the moment. This deepens the level of the relationship and allows you to feel closer to the other person.

    Check your emotions by being in the present.

    When you’re in the present, you’re not allowing the emotions from the past to interfere with your relationship. Constantly holding onto things that bothered you then allowing those things to remain in your thoughts or to come out during an argument can erode the relationship over time.

    Your emotions become heightened when you carry past baggage into the present. You end up saying things that you may not truly mean. This happens because you’re not speaking with present emotions but with past ones. Checking your emotions allows you to break the circle of constantly fighting over the same things.

    Teach yourself.

    Use living in the moment to guide you on how to deal with relationships now. Look for self-teaching moments. This is when you stop and check in with yourself. Ask what the best way is to handle the situation. Look to see if you reacted emotionally and created friction rather than acted mindfully and created peace.

    What checking yourself does is boost the strength of the relationship. You’re not busy looking at what the other person is doing. Instead, you’re focusing on what your responsibility is.

    Being mindful enables you to control and manage your feelings and actions. It also means you don’t have to be in control of the outcome of the relationship. You’re free to let it evolve.

    In the end, the only person you’re capable of changing or improving is yourself. When you focus on strengthening the relationship, it lets the other person “off the hook.” Taking off that pressure prompts others to feel better and react differently toward you.

    Create the future you want.

    When you behave mindfully in any relationship, it shapes how it will be in the future. Many people have hopes of loving, fulfilling, relationships but don’t realize that today’s behaviors and words create that. If you want love and peace, you have to plant and cultivate those seeds.

    Let go of your expectations.

    Living in the moment makes you let other people off the hook. People won’t follow the script that you have in your head. They won’t react as kindly or as romantically as you had hoped and sometimes, this can be painful.

    When you keep your focus on the now, it lets you see past the surface of that person’s response. You’ll develop empathy and realize that the other person is under stress or they’re worried or something is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Being mindful allows you to take a step back to see the truth.

    Own up to what’s happening.

    Living in the now helps you to deal with whatever issues are going on in a relationship rather than ducking it. Every relationship has flaws because humans have flaws. Some flaws can be so big that if not dealt with, it can wreck the relationship.

    You can strengthen it by approaching the other person with your feelings now mindset. This helps you not to lay blame and use words that are guaranteed to make the other person defensive like “You always” which is accusatory.

    Instead, living in the now will help you to address others calmly. You’ll be able to change the tone by saying, “Right now, I feel let down,” and that enables the conversation to start and the situation to be resolved.

    Set your intention each day.

    Let mindfulness make you more forgiving toward those in your life that you care about. When you get up each morning, think of two things that you can do to help the relationship grow closer. This might be two acts of kindness such as leaving a caring voicemail, writing a note or simply saying, “I love you and I’m on your side.” Your relationships take work. However, living in the now makes it easier to strengthen your bond and build the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

     

     

    Share this by clicking below: