Tag: focus

Your Personal Development Plan
Abundance, Living Now, Mindfulness, Personal Development, Productivity, Time Management, Working Mums

Five Reasons You Need a Personal Development Plan

Lyn Bailey

A personal development plan is like a roadmap. It assists you in finding your purpose and developing your strengths. It also gives you the confidence needed to get out of your comfort zone. A good personal development plan will also help you improve your self-awareness. This combination will ensure that you know your potential and live up to it with intention.

Discover Your Purpose

On the road to self-discovery, most people want to know why they are here. If you want to know your purpose in life, focus on your personal development and create a written personal development plan to help you find it.

As you discover what makes you think the way you do, challenge your thoughts, and decide what facts you’ll use to make sound decisions. When you do this, you may come across additional information that will lead you to closer to your purpose. You are more likely to feel good about the ideas you have and actions you take each day because you know they will have a particular impact.

Develop Your Strengths

Once you discover your strengths as you study yourself and pay close attention to how you feel about your actions, you’ll know what to develop. Focusing on what you are already good at is always preferable to focus on where you are lacking.

Getting additional training, practicing, and learning from others regarding the things you’re already good at doing is a much more pleasurable and successful way to approach your life. You’re naturally good at something that gives you joy and makes you better. So, you may as well use your natural gifts.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

While you do want to focus on what you are already good at doing, sometimes it takes time to see what that is. Getting out of your comfort zone has nothing to do with forcing yourself to focus on things you aren’t good at doing. Instead, it may mean simply showing someone else what you’re good at.

Boost Your Confidence

As you develop yourself, you’ll start experiencing success, and that experience will boost your confidence exponentially. Part of personal development is focusing on learning to have a positive mindset, taking the best care of yourself, and reveling in your skills and experience. When your confidence is strong, you’ll free yourself from paralyzing self-doubt and negative thoughts and emotions. You can’t help but become strong when you craft and follow a plan based on self-discovery and your goals.

Improve Your Self-Awareness

Since personal development is all about you, getting to know who you are is especially important. Knowing who you are will allow you to know and lead with your strengths so that you can cope with your weaknesses, realistically and kindly, without lying to yourself or others about who you are. Self-awareness is the ultimate precursor to authenticity.

You also need a personal development plan because you’re much more likely to succeed at anything when you have a plan. A personal development plan is a documented set of facts and information to help guide and direct you through the actions and habits that make up your life. For example, if you want to succeed at any dream, it starts with a goal. Then, through smart goal setting, your goals become a plan that you can follow, track, and even change throughout your life while remaining focused on your ultimate dreams and goals.

As the are now in our second quarter of the year, if you want to find out how a personal development plan can help you live a happier life, then click HERE to book a strategy session for just $49.00!

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12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

Lyn Bailey

When we have been hurt, it’s very easy to feel that life is not fair. I remember when my marriage broke up after 34 years, I felt a lot of hurt, emotional pain and resentment after my husband left me for another woman. It took me a long time to get over these feelings. Eventually, I started to realise that I was 100% responsible for how I felt, which meant I had a choice in any given moment. I could choose to feel the hurt and pain, or I could choose to feel grateful for the 34 years we had shared, and, specifically, grateful for the 4 beautiful children we had brought into the world and the joy I feel every day being a mum.

 

It made me realise that all I needed to do was to nurture my own personal freedom, rather than letting someone else have control over that freedom.

 

If you want to take back control over your freedom, here are 12 tips to get you started.

 

12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

 

There’s a lot of pressure to conform to society’s definition of success. Right from school, you hear that there is pretty much one path. A good job, a one-way upwards career trajectory, a family, big house, lots of money. But your personal freedom doesn’t get mentioned. Nor does inner peace. But you don’t have to step too far outside your regular life to allow space for greater contentment, and freedom from the anxieties and pressures of modern life.

 

There are some key things you can do right now to nurture your personal freedom and achieve greater contentment with your life.

 

  1. Let go of past hurts and sufferings, acknowledging what you have learned along the way.
  2. Believe in your heart that you deserve love and good things in your life and that you wish these for the other people in your life.
  3. Act kindly in your interactions with other people, whether it’s friends, family, colleagues or the person you walk past in the street. People will remember how you treated them long after they have forgotten your words.
  4. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you mostly do the best you can. And when you make a mistake, you learn from it and do better.
  5. Acknowledge that you have control only over your actions and reactions. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond to them.
  6. Own your past mistakes but do not let them define you.
  7. Be at peace with change and accept that it is part of the ebb and flow of life.
  8. Set goals to achieve what you want out of life but be flexible and prepared to adapt to changing circumstances.
  9. Don’t compare your life to others, especially as they present themselves on social media. People always display their best sides and rarely acknowledge weakness or when things are going badly.
  10. Choose to be compassionate. Most people are trying to do their best most of the time.
  11. Be grateful for where you are, and what you have right now. Don’t get caught up in a dissatisfaction loop where the other guy’s life looks better. Chances are you are already living an abundant life.
  12. Learn to relax and allow things to be, rather than try to second guess all the time. Adopt the Buddhist philosophy of detachment, breathe, and let go of anxiety. Allow and trust that the Universe will give you what you need.
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Abundance, Goals, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Multitasking

Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

Lyn Bailey

Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

When you want to live in the now, there are obstacles that can get in the way and stop you from being fully present.

Distractions are one of these. You can set a goal to be more present then it seems like one thing after another happens to get in the way of that goal. Sometimes these distractions can be problems at home or work. They could also be thoughts or habits that keep cropping up.

Closely linked to the problem of distractions is stress. When you’re under stress, it can be hard to keep your mind’s focus where you want it to be. That’s because your brain is busy trying to solve the current crisis.

Your body starts to react to stress in ways that aren’t conducive to living in the present. When your breathing and your body aren’t calm, it’s much harder to soothe your mind and focus your thoughts.

Too many demands on you physically can also be an obstacle to keep you from being mindful. When you reach the end of your physical strength, it can be hard to find the mental strength that you need.

If you’re not feeling well, you’re tired, or you’re under stress, your mind will have a harder time keeping the focus where it needs to be.

Any time that a physical need is present, it can be an obstacle. If you’re thirsty, your mind might want to focus on that only. If you’re hungry, your mind might not be able to focus on anything but food.

When a physical need nags at the back of your subconscious mind, you can have a lot of trouble centreing your mind on anything else. When you want to practice living in the present, you need to be sure that no physical needs are distracting you from reaching the level of awareness.

If you have a cold or other health ailment, that can be an obstacle. If you have a headache, toothache or are hurting anywhere in your body, those can make it difficult to achieve a state of focus for being present. It could be that all you can think about is how bad you’re feeling or how much pain you’re in. Any physical issues that are going on should be dealt with first.

Having a time crunch is another roadblock to mindfulness. If your life is so packed with activities and responsibilities that fitting one more thing in it seems overwhelming, you’ll have difficulty obtaining the awareness needed for living in the present.

Your own thoughts can get in the way, too. Thinking that you’re not good enough or that you can’t keep your focus is a common obstacle. Many people make the mistake of thinking that living in the present is something they can do just by wanting it.

However, it’s something that takes both effort and consistency. If you gently bring your focus back around each time you lose it, then you will eventually be able to live in the present for longer periods.

When it’s difficult is when many people give up. They want instant results and being mindful isn’t something that happens overnight. You need to work at it even when it’s not as easy as you’d like it to be.

Whatever you’re doing right now, try to stop a moment and pause. Take a breath and refocus. This is a simple way that you can calm your racing mind and body so that you can be fully present.

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Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

Lyn Bailey

Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

Being present can be difficult to achieve because doing so can trigger feelings of discomfort. The discomfort comes from thinking you must be completely within the present without slipping up.

 

When something does happen to shake your focus, it can make you feel like you’ve failed to achieve living in the now. However, being present isn’t something that has a success or failure scorecard. It’s simply learning how to pick up on the situations when you’re not practicing living in the moment and gently course correcting.

 

It can be hard to be in the present because you might get caught up in the mundane. There’s nothing peaceful about the stresses of life. When the dishwasher floods or the car breaks down, it can be easy to start daydreaming, rather than focusing on what’s currently going on in your life.

 

Living in the present is something that can take practice. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits. You can find yourself handling life the way you’ve always done. Your habits are your “go-to” response and your brain can automatically fall back into those thought processes.

 

When this happens and you realize that your mind and your reactions are opposite of living in the now, you can always hit reset. Just because you think you blew it doesn’t mean that you did.

 

Everyone will have times when they forget to focus, especially when life gets hectic. However, as soon as you’re aware that’s happening, you can pause and start fresh.

 

It can be hard to be present when you’re in the middle of something that’s stressing you out or making you angry or sad. This is totally normal. It’s common to have difficulty concentrating or focusing when you’re in the middle of a crisis.

 

 

That’s why you want to focus on learning to “live in the now” even if your life seems peaceful and calm at this moment. Then when difficult things happen, you’ll be able to maintain your peacefulness because you’ve spent time practicing.

 

Some people struggle to be present because they fear living in the moment means they’re going to be handing over control. Sometimes, it’s easier to think that if you worry about something or fret over it; you can prevent bad things from happening simply because you pre-worried.

 

However, living fully in the moment isn’t about giving up control. It’s about focusing your awareness so that you don’t waste valuable energy worrying about what has happened or what might happen. Instead, you’re experiencing fullness of life exactly where you are.

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How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

Lyn Bailey

Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

A Better, More Successful Life Can Be Yours

Living in the moment might feel difficult at first. That’s only because it’s a new thing and sometimes, new things feel scary. Just like learning to ride a bicycle, it gets easier the more you do it. If you keep trying, you’ll be putting your hands up and enjoying the ride in no time at all!

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12 Reasons to Live in the NOW!

Lyn Bailey

12 Reasons to Live in the Now

There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…

Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.

When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be.

You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.

Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.

It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.

Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.

You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.

Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.

You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.

Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.

 When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.

Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.

You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.

Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.

When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved.

You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.

Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.

When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection.

When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.

Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.

That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this.

Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things.

When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.

Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.

When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.

Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.

You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.

These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else

.Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.

Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motive

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How Living in the NOW Strengthens Your Relationships

Lyn Bailey

How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships

 

 

Everyone wants to have healthy strong relationships but not many people know that living in the now is exactly how you develop those types of relationships. It’s all about what you choose to focus on in the relationship that makes all the difference in the world.

Being fully present lets you look at the foundation of your relationships and allows you to be nurturing rather than wasting time and effort trying to fix what you believe is wrong with the other person.

When you’re living in the now, you develop a deeper level of kindness and connection toward the other person.

than rehashing and reacting to what you perceive are flaws—or even what irritates you about the other person—living in the now lets you become accepting. When you accept other people as they are, they tend not to be as defensive. Their guard is lowered and true bonds can be formed.

You’ll be able to grow within the relationship. As a result, you can change the tone of the interactions you have with those you care about. When you live in the present, you have relationships where loving honesty are at the forefront. This allows the relationship to flourish. So if you’re ready to nurture your relationships, here’s what you can do to strengthen your bond today…

Practice paying attention.

When the other person is speaking, give them your full focus. When you multitask as someone is talking to you, it makes them feel like they’re not important enough for your full attention.

By giving half of your attention away when someone else needs you to be present, you’re robbing yourself and them of the full benefit and enjoyment of your relationship. However, when you pay attention, you’re living in the moment. This deepens the level of the relationship and allows you to feel closer to the other person.

Check your emotions by being in the present.

When you’re in the present, you’re not allowing the emotions from the past to interfere with your relationship. Constantly holding onto things that bothered you then allowing those things to remain in your thoughts or to come out during an argument can erode the relationship over time.

Your emotions become heightened when you carry past baggage into the present. You end up saying things that you may not truly mean. This happens because you’re not speaking with present emotions but with past ones. Checking your emotions allows you to break the circle of constantly fighting over the same things.

Teach yourself.

Use living in the moment to guide you on how to deal with relationships now. Look for self-teaching moments. This is when you stop and check in with yourself. Ask what the best way is to handle the situation. Look to see if you reacted emotionally and created friction rather than acted mindfully and created peace.

What checking yourself does is boost the strength of the relationship. You’re not busy looking at what the other person is doing. Instead, you’re focusing on what your responsibility is.

Being mindful enables you to control and manage your feelings and actions. It also means you don’t have to be in control of the outcome of the relationship. You’re free to let it evolve.

In the end, the only person you’re capable of changing or improving is yourself. When you focus on strengthening the relationship, it lets the other person “off the hook.” Taking off that pressure prompts others to feel better and react differently toward you.

Create the future you want.

When you behave mindfully in any relationship, it shapes how it will be in the future. Many people have hopes of loving, fulfilling, relationships but don’t realize that today’s behaviors and words create that. If you want love and peace, you have to plant and cultivate those seeds.

Let go of your expectations.

Living in the moment makes you let other people off the hook. People won’t follow the script that you have in your head. They won’t react as kindly or as romantically as you had hoped and sometimes, this can be painful.

When you keep your focus on the now, it lets you see past the surface of that person’s response. You’ll develop empathy and realize that the other person is under stress or they’re worried or something is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Being mindful allows you to take a step back to see the truth.

Own up to what’s happening.

Living in the now helps you to deal with whatever issues are going on in a relationship rather than ducking it. Every relationship has flaws because humans have flaws. Some flaws can be so big that if not dealt with, it can wreck the relationship.

You can strengthen it by approaching the other person with your feelings now mindset. This helps you not to lay blame and use words that are guaranteed to make the other person defensive like “You always” which is accusatory.

Instead, living in the now will help you to address others calmly. You’ll be able to change the tone by saying, “Right now, I feel let down,” and that enables the conversation to start and the situation to be resolved.

Set your intention each day.

Let mindfulness make you more forgiving toward those in your life that you care about. When you get up each morning, think of two things that you can do to help the relationship grow closer. This might be two acts of kindness such as leaving a caring voicemail, writing a note or simply saying, “I love you and I’m on your side.” Your relationships take work. However, living in the now makes it easier to strengthen your bond and build the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

 

 

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Goal Setting Rules That Work!

Lyn Bailey

Goal Setting Rules That Work

 

Poor goal setting can be a roadblock to success. Think of it as a business plan—the plan and path you need to take to be successful. Without a plan or a set of goals designed with steps to follow, you lack direction, and without direction, it is hard to get where you want to go. All humans need guidance and to do the work to reap the rewards.

Follow these rules to goal setting that work:

Be Realistic

For example, your goal may be to lose 30 kilos, but don’t expect that to happen in two or even ten months. Give yourself a realistic timeline to reach your goal. Don’t set yourself up to fail before you also get started by being unrealistic.

Baby Steps

Break down your goals into manageable steps or smaller goals that you can change or repeat each day to reach your goal. This way, your bigger goal seems easy to get to, and you won’t overwhelm yourself again by doing too much or making it look too hard.

For example, maybe you have a goal to do more exercise, as I have at the moment. Instead of going from 500 steps to 5,000 steps in one hit, you can just start with 1,000 steps a day for the first week, then 2,000 the second week, and then as the weeks go by, you will find yourself doing 5,000 steps each day easily and effortlessly. All you need to feel accomplished is to work toward your goals slowly. I had become very inactive with the pandemic lockdowns. I found my osteoarthritis was really taking hold again and I was needing more and more pain relief to cope each day. I decided to make a change. I started with the 1,000 steps daily for a week. I’m now up to 3,000 steps a day and really enjoying my walking time and challenge. I also feel much better and have been able to come off my pain relief medication. 

Click here for your FREE My Goals Journal

Be Specific

Make sure all the goals that you set for yourself are very clear and specific. Don’t make it broad and all over the place. If you can’t see the finish line, you may not get started. If you don’t know precisely what you want to accomplish in the end, you won’t know how even to get started in the first place, much less the steps that it takes to reach the goal.

Be Relevant

Each goal you work on should be relevant to where you want to see your life going. Do you have big career goals? Then make sure the goals you write down are career related. Don’t make all your goals about your health and hobbies if you ultimately want to be a doctor one day. You will need to put in a lot of work to get there and make it a top priority.

Always Plan

Writing down the goals is only the first step. You must also plan how you want to achieve the goals. Having a clear direction, a beginning, middle, and end will lead to success. For each goal that you make, also write at least three to five things you plan on doing to get there first.

You must want to accomplish the goal and believe in it to succeed. After all, it takes your continued hard work and dedication to make it happen, no one else’s. 

Click here for your FREE My Goals Journal
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You Matter

Lyn Bailey

You Matter

We spend our days rushing from one task to another at work and home only to drop into our beds at midnight, completely exhausted. Our society has changed a great deal since our parents were in their prime. Today we are addicted to speed, see busyness as a status symbol, take care of not only our children, but also our aging parent, and work as many hours as possible to keep ahead of the Jones’. It’s no wonder most of us ignore ourselves and our needs. It seems like there’s simply not the time to do more than grab food on the go and snag a few hours of sleep before starting it all again.

 

Have you ever stopped to wonder if this is the way you want to live? We somehow find it easier to make time for other people’s needs than we do our own. And, those who do make it a priority to find time for themselves, are considered selfish and self-centered. Since we certainly don’t want others to view us in that way, we soldier on, pushing through instead. Whereas what we need to do is to take a break so that we can take care of ourselves and our energy. Everyone deserves to thrive in life, not just survive one day to the next!

 

Of course, it’s easier to say we’ll start putting ourselves first than it is to do. With all the time pressures we feel, self-care can feel like just one more thing on our to-do list. However, it’s vital to our physical and mental health to start making ourselves a priority! It’s not just a nice idea. It’s not about taking a yearly vacation (if we’re lucky). It’s not even about taking the occasional trip to the day spa or enjoying a day on the golf course. Choosing to put yourself first needs to be an ongoing, daily habit.

 

Why is putting our own needs first so vital to health, happiness, and success?

 

  • It staves off burn-out
  • It sets you up to live a fulfilled, joyful life
  • It keeps you focused on what’s important
  • It helps you refocus when you feel overwhelmed or at a loss as to what should come next
  • It aids in recuperating from stress so that it doesn’t build up

 

If you would like to begin making yourself a priority, but don’t know where to start, you are in the right place. Download your FREE Choose You Checklist HERE.  By the time you put some of these suggestions into practice, you’ll not only acknowledge that putting yourself is worth the effort, but you’ll know how to make it happen! You’ll be totally on board and moving towards living a reality where self-care and filling your cup first isn’t a reward, but a necessity.

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Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

Lyn Bailey

Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

 

Living in the now is something that takes practice. You may struggle with being present because of racing thoughts.

People have this issue because of overthinking. There are common areas where people tend to overthink. One of these areas is money. A simple thought that you’d like to make more money can quickly turn into worrying that you may not have enough in the future. It could turn into worrying about what you’ll do if you lose your job or ability to work.

Relationships are another area where overthinking often happens. This is usually due to projecting. You don’t know what someone is thinking or feeling and it can make you second guess. You might think someone is feeling negatively toward you when they’re not even thinking about their relationship with you at all.

If you take a situation or a problem and you overthink it, you can spin it into a huge problem that seems overwhelming. Then you feel paralyzed and unable to take action. Now, racing thoughts keep you spinning your wheels and wasting time.

When you learn how to control your thoughts, you live fully present and acquire a feeling of power, as you realize what you can do. To calm racing thoughts and experience the peace of the present, you can take several steps in order to reach your goal.

First, remember to breathe. When you pause to breathe, it effectively lowers your heightened response as well as your stress. Focus on inhaling and exhaling and slowly count to three as you do so. You’ll instantly feel calmer.

Second, don’t look at situations that aren’t reality. Many people create worst-case scenarios in their mind. For example, if someone is late coming home, you might assume the worst—that your loved one was injured or in an accident. However, this thought doesn’t serve you. It only adds unnecessary stress and fear to your life.

If you realize that a thought is based only on anxiety, let it go. You might say, “I know Dave is running late. But I release my fear over it and choose to believe that everything will be fine.”

Next, don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the past either. Focus on the moment, rather than what used to be, or what could be. The only time that you have is right now. If you focus on the past, your thoughts will race about things that happened to you or how you could have done things differently.

You may also find it helpful to adopt a mantra. Having a word or phrase that you can turn to in order to refocus your attention can calm a racing mind. This could be something as simple as “Everything is fine” or “I walk in peace.”

Sometimes racing thoughts happen because you’re trying to hold on to important information. You fear what might happen if you forget to take care of something. To calm your racing thoughts, create a thought list.

Write down all the thoughts that are bothering you. Once they’re written down, you’ll discover that your thoughts are no longer racing. That’s because once you write something down, your brain believes it has dealt with the racing thoughts and will begin winding down.

You can also choose to do a calming activity when you’re struggling to be present. This might be something like playing a game, reading, writing, gardening, coloring, drawing, or listening to music. Calming activities stop racing thoughts because they change your focus from being immersed in anxiety or regret to actively doing something.

Exercise is another activity you can do that will calm racing thoughts. As you exercise, endorphins flood the body. This boosts your mood and can help you get fear or worry back under control. For the best results, choose a low-impact exercise that will calm you. For example, you might choose a slow walk around your neighborhood or a series of gentle yoga poses.

Change your sounds can also have a profound impact on bringing you into the present moment. Listen to the birds outside your window or put on some nature music. You could turn on a white noise machine or listen to instrumental music as well.

 

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