Tag: fear

Goals, Living Now, Mental Health, Personal Development, Productivity

Fears That Hold You Back From Finishing What You Start

Lyn Bailey

Do you constantly find yourself starting a project you have every intention of finishing, and then you simply don’t finish it?

This failure to finish could simply be you harboring several fears that are holding you back from finishing what you start.

Fear Of Failure

The fear of failure is one of the most common fears people deal with. Almost everyone will experience it at some point in their life. This fear with undoubtedly hold you back from finishing what you start.

This fear will hold you back from doing what needs to be done to conquer things that may be difficult or out of your comfort zone. The fear of failure often leads to procrastination. So, to conquer your procrastination habit, it’s time first to learn to face your fear of failure.

Fear Of Losing Something

Although this fear isn’t as common as a fear of failure, one of the reasons you may be putting something off is because of your fear of losing something. Whenever you complete a project, you will be putting yourself through changes.

This change can be scary and may cause you to fear losing something you currently have in your life. It would be best if you overcome this fear. Change is good and realizing this is important. Even if you do lose some things along the way, you are working towards something bigger and better.

Fear That Others Will Judge You

Another common fear is that your peers will judge you. And this one, unfortunately, could be true. If you have goals, dreams, and aspirations that might seem odd to other people, you may put them off or give up on them forever.

You might want to learn to ski but put it off because you are afraid others might judge your beginner attempts. That was me for many years, then, in my mid forties, I faced the fear and did it anyway. Not only did I improve on my beginner attempts, but I ended up loving it. It opened up a whole new world for me as I took to skiing around the world! Have you been put off by peer pressure?

Part of life is accepting that you are okay if people judge you and your actions. You know who you are and what you are doing, so don’t let others’ perceptions of you change your behaviour.

Overall, if you are struggling to finish something you’ve already started, it’s probably because of one of these internal fears. The best way to work towards finishing what you start is by learning to conquer these three fears so that you can go on to be successful in all of your endeavours.

What fears are holding you back, or stopping you from doing something you love?

I would love to hear them. If you need help to overcome any of these fears, then click HERE to book a FREE Discovery Call with me.

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Health, Living Now, Mindfulness, Productivity, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

7 Questions To Ask When You Think You’re Procrastinating

Lyn Bailey

7 Questions To Ask When You Think You’re Procrastinating

 

Do you sometimes find yourself making that second cup of coffee instead of taking action to get you moving towards your desired outcome? If so, you are not alone. I have done just that this morning. My intention was to get this blog written and published today. I had set myself a schedule to do this from 9-10.30am. So, what did I do at 9am? I made myself a cup of coffee, then decided to read  some emails, did some Facebook posts, chatted to a friend I finished my coffee, then decided to make a second one. I realised that I was procrastinating. Why was I doing this? I asked myself the first question below.Is writing a blog exciting enough to get me out of my comfy chair to sit at my desk, The answer was NO. So I asked myself what would make writing a blog my exciting for me. The answer that came up for me was this. “I am writing this blog to help those people who are holding themselves back from achieving their full potential, so that they can start to take action to turn their dreams into reality and make this the best, most successful and productive year of their lives.” Now, I am excited to be sitting at my desk writing this blog post starting at 10.30 with enthusiasm and gratitude.

If you struggle with procrastination, you know the detrimental effects it can have on goal achievement. But instead of beating yourself up for failing to get going, consider a different approach. Here are seven questions that will help you overcome procrastination and achieve higher levels of success.

1- Do your goals excite you?

First, ask whether your goals excite you. You may think you’re procrastinating when the problem is you’re not motivated.

There are tasks we all have to complete daily. Not all of them are thrilling. But if your goal is to finish your book by the end of the year, for example, and you find yourself struggling to get going? Consider that the problem may be that you lack passion for the project itself, not your overall drive.

To remedy this, think of other tasks in your life. Are you generally unable to get going? Or is it with just one or two things that you find dull and boring?

Perhaps you need new goals.

2- Are you healthy?

Next, ask yourself if you’ve taken care of your health. It’s much easier to find the energy to work on long-term goals when you’re eating nutritious foods, drinking enough water, and getting enough daily exercise.

On the other hand, if you’ve got too many poor habits like drinking too much alcohol, remaining sedentary, and eating poorly, your issue could be your health.

If you can improve your health and wellness routine, do so. See if that helps give you enough energy to avoid procrastination.

3- What could you get done if you quit procrastinating?

Third, it’s time to daydream for a second. Think of all the juicy details behind what you might be able to accomplish if you quit procrastinating.

Could you finally have that dream body you’ve been craving? Might you get that promotion at work? Will you, at last, start your side business?

Sometimes all you need is a gentle reminder of how good life is on the other side of effort.

4- Can you reframe it as an opportunity?

Next, you may find it useful to reframe the situation. Let’s say you dread going to the gym. Could you think of how lucky you are to have such an opportunity, instead of thinking of the negative?

How fantastic is it that you have the funds to afford a gym membership? How grateful are you that you have a healthy enough body to move around, run, lift, stretch, and sweat? Isn’t it outstanding that even if you’re busy, you can make the time to engage in self-care practices such as this?

It’s not that you “have to” go to the gym. It’s that you “get to” go to the gym.

5- Are you overcommitted?

Beyond that, consider that you may have too much on your plate. Burnout is a real thing. And if left unchecked, it can cause you to lose productivity when you’d otherwise be on top of things.

Ask yourself if you’re procrastinating or if you don’t have the time or resources you need to get everything done.

6- What’s essential and what can wait?

Along similar lines, you might want to do a brain dump of all your responsibilities. Laying it all in front of you will help you determine what’s essential and what can wait. Sometimes if you want to get going, you have to trim the fat. Much of what we pressure ourselves to complete is just busywork. Eliminate the non-essentials and see if your productivity improves.

7- What’s your reward?

Finally, make sure you have a healthy reward system in place to meet your goals. While goal-achievement is rewarding, knowing there’s an even brighter light at the end of the tunnel may prove motivating.

We spend much time bashing ourselves for mistakes and shortcomings. It’s important to celebrate our wins, too.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes procrastination can get the better of you, but things aren’t always what they seem. The next time you worry about your productivity level, ask yourself these seven questions. You may discover a quick solution to your problem.

If you need  help in changing any of these in your life right now, book  a FREE 30 minute Strategy Session HERE.

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Abundance, Living Now, Working Mums

12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

Lyn Bailey

When we have been hurt, it’s very easy to feel that life is not fair. I remember when my marriage broke up after 34 years, I felt a lot of hurt, emotional pain and resentment after my husband left me for another woman. It took me a long time to get over these feelings. Eventually, I started to realise that I was 100% responsible for how I felt, which meant I had a choice in any given moment. I could choose to feel the hurt and pain, or I could choose to feel grateful for the 34 years we had shared, and, specifically, grateful for the 4 beautiful children we had brought into the world and the joy I feel every day being a mum.

 

It made me realise that all I needed to do was to nurture my own personal freedom, rather than letting someone else have control over that freedom.

 

If you want to take back control over your freedom, here are 12 tips to get you started.

 

12 Tips for Nurturing Your Personal Freedom

 

There’s a lot of pressure to conform to society’s definition of success. Right from school, you hear that there is pretty much one path. A good job, a one-way upwards career trajectory, a family, big house, lots of money. But your personal freedom doesn’t get mentioned. Nor does inner peace. But you don’t have to step too far outside your regular life to allow space for greater contentment, and freedom from the anxieties and pressures of modern life.

 

There are some key things you can do right now to nurture your personal freedom and achieve greater contentment with your life.

 

  1. Let go of past hurts and sufferings, acknowledging what you have learned along the way.
  2. Believe in your heart that you deserve love and good things in your life and that you wish these for the other people in your life.
  3. Act kindly in your interactions with other people, whether it’s friends, family, colleagues or the person you walk past in the street. People will remember how you treated them long after they have forgotten your words.
  4. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you mostly do the best you can. And when you make a mistake, you learn from it and do better.
  5. Acknowledge that you have control only over your actions and reactions. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you respond to them.
  6. Own your past mistakes but do not let them define you.
  7. Be at peace with change and accept that it is part of the ebb and flow of life.
  8. Set goals to achieve what you want out of life but be flexible and prepared to adapt to changing circumstances.
  9. Don’t compare your life to others, especially as they present themselves on social media. People always display their best sides and rarely acknowledge weakness or when things are going badly.
  10. Choose to be compassionate. Most people are trying to do their best most of the time.
  11. Be grateful for where you are, and what you have right now. Don’t get caught up in a dissatisfaction loop where the other guy’s life looks better. Chances are you are already living an abundant life.
  12. Learn to relax and allow things to be, rather than try to second guess all the time. Adopt the Buddhist philosophy of detachment, breathe, and let go of anxiety. Allow and trust that the Universe will give you what you need.
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Abundance, Goals, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Multitasking

Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

Lyn Bailey

Obstacles that Keep You from Being Present

When you want to live in the now, there are obstacles that can get in the way and stop you from being fully present.

Distractions are one of these. You can set a goal to be more present then it seems like one thing after another happens to get in the way of that goal. Sometimes these distractions can be problems at home or work. They could also be thoughts or habits that keep cropping up.

Closely linked to the problem of distractions is stress. When you’re under stress, it can be hard to keep your mind’s focus where you want it to be. That’s because your brain is busy trying to solve the current crisis.

Your body starts to react to stress in ways that aren’t conducive to living in the present. When your breathing and your body aren’t calm, it’s much harder to soothe your mind and focus your thoughts.

Too many demands on you physically can also be an obstacle to keep you from being mindful. When you reach the end of your physical strength, it can be hard to find the mental strength that you need.

If you’re not feeling well, you’re tired, or you’re under stress, your mind will have a harder time keeping the focus where it needs to be.

Any time that a physical need is present, it can be an obstacle. If you’re thirsty, your mind might want to focus on that only. If you’re hungry, your mind might not be able to focus on anything but food.

When a physical need nags at the back of your subconscious mind, you can have a lot of trouble centreing your mind on anything else. When you want to practice living in the present, you need to be sure that no physical needs are distracting you from reaching the level of awareness.

If you have a cold or other health ailment, that can be an obstacle. If you have a headache, toothache or are hurting anywhere in your body, those can make it difficult to achieve a state of focus for being present. It could be that all you can think about is how bad you’re feeling or how much pain you’re in. Any physical issues that are going on should be dealt with first.

Having a time crunch is another roadblock to mindfulness. If your life is so packed with activities and responsibilities that fitting one more thing in it seems overwhelming, you’ll have difficulty obtaining the awareness needed for living in the present.

Your own thoughts can get in the way, too. Thinking that you’re not good enough or that you can’t keep your focus is a common obstacle. Many people make the mistake of thinking that living in the present is something they can do just by wanting it.

However, it’s something that takes both effort and consistency. If you gently bring your focus back around each time you lose it, then you will eventually be able to live in the present for longer periods.

When it’s difficult is when many people give up. They want instant results and being mindful isn’t something that happens overnight. You need to work at it even when it’s not as easy as you’d like it to be.

Whatever you’re doing right now, try to stop a moment and pause. Take a breath and refocus. This is a simple way that you can calm your racing mind and body so that you can be fully present.

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How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

Lyn Bailey

Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

A Better, More Successful Life Can Be Yours

Living in the moment might feel difficult at first. That’s only because it’s a new thing and sometimes, new things feel scary. Just like learning to ride a bicycle, it gets easier the more you do it. If you keep trying, you’ll be putting your hands up and enjoying the ride in no time at all!

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Abundance, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Multitasking, Productivity, Relationships, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

Lyn Bailey

Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

 

Living in the now is something that takes practice. You may struggle with being present because of racing thoughts.

People have this issue because of overthinking. There are common areas where people tend to overthink. One of these areas is money. A simple thought that you’d like to make more money can quickly turn into worrying that you may not have enough in the future. It could turn into worrying about what you’ll do if you lose your job or ability to work.

Relationships are another area where overthinking often happens. This is usually due to projecting. You don’t know what someone is thinking or feeling and it can make you second guess. You might think someone is feeling negatively toward you when they’re not even thinking about their relationship with you at all.

If you take a situation or a problem and you overthink it, you can spin it into a huge problem that seems overwhelming. Then you feel paralyzed and unable to take action. Now, racing thoughts keep you spinning your wheels and wasting time.

When you learn how to control your thoughts, you live fully present and acquire a feeling of power, as you realize what you can do. To calm racing thoughts and experience the peace of the present, you can take several steps in order to reach your goal.

First, remember to breathe. When you pause to breathe, it effectively lowers your heightened response as well as your stress. Focus on inhaling and exhaling and slowly count to three as you do so. You’ll instantly feel calmer.

Second, don’t look at situations that aren’t reality. Many people create worst-case scenarios in their mind. For example, if someone is late coming home, you might assume the worst—that your loved one was injured or in an accident. However, this thought doesn’t serve you. It only adds unnecessary stress and fear to your life.

If you realize that a thought is based only on anxiety, let it go. You might say, “I know Dave is running late. But I release my fear over it and choose to believe that everything will be fine.”

Next, don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the past either. Focus on the moment, rather than what used to be, or what could be. The only time that you have is right now. If you focus on the past, your thoughts will race about things that happened to you or how you could have done things differently.

You may also find it helpful to adopt a mantra. Having a word or phrase that you can turn to in order to refocus your attention can calm a racing mind. This could be something as simple as “Everything is fine” or “I walk in peace.”

Sometimes racing thoughts happen because you’re trying to hold on to important information. You fear what might happen if you forget to take care of something. To calm your racing thoughts, create a thought list.

Write down all the thoughts that are bothering you. Once they’re written down, you’ll discover that your thoughts are no longer racing. That’s because once you write something down, your brain believes it has dealt with the racing thoughts and will begin winding down.

You can also choose to do a calming activity when you’re struggling to be present. This might be something like playing a game, reading, writing, gardening, coloring, drawing, or listening to music. Calming activities stop racing thoughts because they change your focus from being immersed in anxiety or regret to actively doing something.

Exercise is another activity you can do that will calm racing thoughts. As you exercise, endorphins flood the body. This boosts your mood and can help you get fear or worry back under control. For the best results, choose a low-impact exercise that will calm you. For example, you might choose a slow walk around your neighborhood or a series of gentle yoga poses.

Change your sounds can also have a profound impact on bringing you into the present moment. Listen to the birds outside your window or put on some nature music. You could turn on a white noise machine or listen to instrumental music as well.

 

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Abundance, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Multitasking, Productivity, Time Management, Working Moms, Working Mums

How to Become Aware of the Current Moment

Lyn Bailey

How to Become Aware of the Current Moment

Learning how to become aware of the current moment is one of the best ways that you can live in the present.

Begin by tuning in to your body. You can do this by understanding how to connect with your body. Breathe in and pay attention to how the air fills your lungs. Then slowly release the air. Notice how the oxygen makes your lungs feel as you inhale, then again as you exhale. Then focus on the top of your head and move down or begin at your toes and move up as you focus on your body. During these body moments, you want to be aware of your breathing and posture.

Listen in to how your body feels in each area. Pay attention to assess whether there is something that you need to address. Sometimes, you can get so busy in life that you miss important things your body is trying to tell you. Perform a mental body scan to help you become aware of the present.

You can also check in with yourself as soon as you’re awake. Do this by taking a few minutes to write down whatever it is that flows into your consciousness. There’s no page count to reach or no limit to be had. You just write down your thoughts and your feelings. These short writing bursts can put your day into focus, as well as how you’re feeling at the moment.  Writing down what’s going on in your mind helps to clear away the cobwebs, determine your focus, and helps you prepare for the day. It doesn’t matter if you skip from thought to thought. There’s no grade to be had here. You can write one word, one sentence or several pages. This is simply tuning in to your mind at the beginning of your day just like you tuned in to your body.

Another way to stay present is to meditate as you’re going through your day. When you meditate on your day—on each task or action—it helps you to stay in the now regardless of whatever it is that you’re doing. To do this, just stop and take three deep breaths as you concentrate on the task or action you are doing at the moment.

This practice helps you to keep your attention trained on the current moment rather than thinking about what happened yesterday or turning your focus to what you need to do tomorrow.

Take a second to see yourself as you’re going through your day. Visualize your steps. This works to keep your focus on what you need to do rather than allowing yourself to become distracted by other things.

When your day is over, pause to reflect about the moments that you were fully present. Think about how you felt physically and how you felt emotionally. The purpose for this brief exercise is it helps you to become more aware of the attention you gave the present. It allows you to finish the day on a moment of reflection and gratitude.

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Abundance, Health, Living Now, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Working Moms, Working Mums

How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

Lyn Bailey

Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

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5 Steps to Throw Fear to the Curb and Take Control of Your Life!

Lyn Bailey

Life is challenging, and painful, and exciting, and unpredictable. We are surviving in a crazy world at the moment, with life being all of these things. There are two basic forces that drive our reactions to what Life throws at us – love and fear. Love opens us to the passion and excitement that Life has to offer, while fear causes us to withdraw and hide. As we join forces to overcome the COVID 19 pandemic, we are faced with both love and fear. Our fear comes from the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, and how long this situation will last. Our love comes from our gratitude as we have the time and space to question what is truly important in our lives right now.

Fear stops you from taking action, fear of what you might lose or gain, fear of not having enough money, fear of not being loved or belonging, fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of the outcome.

There is a time for fear. It protects us from danger and destruction. The problem is that if you’re not living your life to the fullest, chances are good it’s because you’ve let fear dictate to you that pretty much everything new you want to try is dangerous and destructive.

Well, guess what? It’s not true.

You can throw fear to the curb, you can take control of your life, you can start living your life to the fullest.

Click here for your FREE Checklist on 10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

Here are 5 steps to get you started on Throw Fear to the Curb and Taking Control of Your Life!:

1. Be Clear About Your Goals
What do you want your life to look like and be like? You must have a destination, a goal, a vision to work toward or you’re not going to know that you reached it. What goals do you want to achieve? Get clear on this and your first fear will be taken care of – the fear of not knowing what to expect. Now you can shift your focus to the tasks that will help you achieve your goal.

2. Prepare Yourself
How many opportunities have you had to say No to because you weren’t ready? No doubt there are many. And there will be many more if you don’t begin to prepare yourself now. Based on the goals you’ve set, what skills and knowledge do you need to achieve them? Begin obtaining those skills and knowledge now.

3. Network With Others
If you don’t have the skills or knowledge, you should know someone who does. A strong social and professional network is vital to your ability to live the life you want. This doesn’t mean you must befriend everyone who crosses your path, or that you must nurture professional relationships with people you don’t like or understand. It means meeting people online and offline and deciding how they fit in your life. You make that decision. Just be sure to nurture those relationships that can help you personally and professionally by being helpful to them first.

4. Ask More Questions
Opportunities don’t appear as if by magic. And sometimes they’re not obvious. Use your imagination and curiosity to help you ask more questions about what is happening around you. When you can see situations from different perspectives amazing lessons can be learned, answers can be found, and recognition of an opportunity can happen.

5. Take Risks
Not just any risk, though, calculated risks. Calculated means understanding what the risks are, whether it’s financial or emotional or mental or physical, and weighing the pros and cons of each risk to determine if you’re willing to live with the consequences of moving forward. When you do this, you are in control of the decision-making process and can accept responsibility for the achievement or failure of what you do in your life.

Click here for your FREE Checklist on 10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

These five steps apply to your personal and business life because the truth is that you take yourself wherever you go, don’t you? When you are in control of how you make your decisions, why you make your decisions, you throw fear to the curb and are able to live a life that is free of fear and full of joy and happiness and purpose.

While I hope you all stay safe and well during this crazy time we are living in, if you are struggling with this situation, please book a FREE 15 minute coaching session with me to help you come up with a survival plan. CLICK HERE to book your FREE session

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