Lyn Bailey – Life by Design

Author: Lyn Bailey

  • Setting Boundaries

    If you have difficulty putting your own needs above those of others, you no doubt have issues with setting personal boundaries. Many of us struggle with this today. It seems more than ever before that people seem to be happy to let others pick up their slack or avoid taking responsibility for themselves and their actions.

     

    What this means, to those of us who lack firm boundaries, is that we are the ones who take responsibility for others and pick up the slack. It is up to each of us to determine what we are comfortable doing in any relationship so that we stop feeling manipulated and can enjoy our lives.

     

    Do You Need Stronger Personal Boundaries?

     

    How do you know if you could use a shoring up of your boundaries?

     

    Answer these questions to find out:

     

    • Do you believe your happiness depends on others?
    • Are you unable to say no, even when you want to?
    • Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
    • Are you more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of yourself?
    • Do you feel constantly drained by all you have to do?
    • Do you always go only with what other people want instead of voicing your desires? Maybe because it’s simpler like that or because you are afraid of making someone angry?

    If you recognize yourself in many of these questions, fear not! Next, we are going to discover how to set healthy personal boundaries and provide ways you can get started creating yours today.

     

    Healthy Personal Boundaries

     

    What is a healthy personal boundary? You deserve to choose to say no to taking on others’ responsibilities and choosing how you spend your time. Setting healthy personal boundaries isn’t about barricading yourself behind a wall, so you don’t get hurt, it’s about respecting yourself enough to admit what you want and demand it from others in your life.

     

    Setting strong personal boundaries is an absolute must on your journey to making yourself a priority in your own life. Building healthy boundaries is one of the best ways you can put yourself and your needs first. They protect you from being taken advantage of, of being a doormat.

     

    Personal boundaries also teach others how to treat you—with respect and care. Your boundaries should stay firm and clear, though you can choose in what situations to allow them to be flexible. They aid you in discovering your true self and making sure you live life on your terms. They develop your self-awareness and self-respect.

    Steps to Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries

     

    Now that you understand what boundaries are and you know yours should be stronger, let’s look at the steps to begin setting yours today. It’s important to realize and remember that setting boundaries is not a one-time deal. This process is learned, and everyone can do it!

     

    Understand Yourself

    The first thing you need to do is decide how you want to be treated by others.

    One excellent way to begin this journey of self-discovery is to start a journal.

     

    Clarify your Values

    When we focus on other people’s needs and wants only, we stop spending time on ourselves to discover what we want and need. Now’s the time to change that!

     

    You may want to clarify what you value in your life, what you want more of in your life, what are your deepest desires? Once you know what you desire and value in life, you’ll be able to use those to make decisions about how you spend your time and energy. Anything that doesn’t align with them will get an automatic, no thanks.

     

    Choose Your Company

    Just because you’ve always eaten lunch with a co-worker or been friends with someone for years doesn’t mean you have to continue. Now that you are more aware of what you want, it’s a great time to re-evaluate who you spend time with and who your friends are. Choose to enjoy time with people who respect your boundaries and who are positive and supportive.

     

    Pause

    When someone asks you to take care of something or attend a function, you should pause before you answer. Say you’ll have to check your calendar and get back to them. That will give you the time and space to decide if it’s something you genuinely want to take part in or not.

     

    Accept the Process

    Because making yourself a priority and putting boundaries in place is a process you must accept that you won’t always deal with situations correctly. There will be slip ups! Learn from each experience and keep going. Be kind to yourself and accept that all journeys have their ups and downs.

     

    Feel into your Body

    When a situation occurs, or you are asked to take on a new responsibility, check in with your body. How do you feel within yourself? Do you feel relaxed? Are you naturally smiling? Or, are your shoulders tight? Is your stomach queasy? Get to know how your emotions show up in your body.

    Beware the Vampires

    Now that you know you can use your body as a reaction gage begin noticing how it feels around different people. We all have to deal with the occasional energy vampire—a person who drains you of energy just by being around them. Using your body as your guide, notice who saps your energy and then find ways to weed them out of your life. You’ll be much happier without them.

    Resist the Urge to Fix

    Have you ever noticed how many people come to you to vent their frustration and anger or ask for advice or help? It will take some practice, but resist the urge to fix their lives for them. Instead, show compassion and empathy.

     

    Embrace Flexibility

    Just because you have set personal boundaries doesn’t mean you have to say a firm no to everything. Each situation is a bit different. You may find as time goes on you want to alter your boundaries. That’s perfectly normal. Your new motto should be “If it feels right, do it.”

     

    Tips for Stating Your Boundaries

    Creating and maintaining your limits is a process that will become easier the more you practice.

     

    Don’t worry. We aren’t going to leave you to your own devices on how to go about standing up for yourself! You may be worried that putting boundaries in place will turn you into a selfish, harsh person. But trust us when we say that there are ways to do this that are kind and gentle. Below are some suggestions to stand up for yourself without feeling like a monster.

     

    • Stating your boundaries isn’t a commentary. Don’t give into the feeling that you need to explain or defend your decision. The other person doesn’t have the right to judge or comment on your decision.
    • If someone starts to beg or argue with you after you set a boundary, simply restate your original explanation and end the conversation. Be firm, but courteous.
    • Use unassuming, direct language when standing your ground. Don’t give excuses or explain why you’ve come to this decision. You only need to state your answer or choice.
    • If you have judgmental people in your life, start drawing attention to your needs by telling them that it’s not okay with you for them to criticize.
    • Remember, pausing before agreeing to something is your new best friend.

    If someone is offended or angered by your new boundaries, keep in mind that is their issue. When you start to stand your ground, they won’t like it. But don’t back down! Soon they’ll be someone else’s problem.

    Click here to join FREE Choose You
    5 day challenge
    Share this by clicking below:
  • Boundaries

    Boundaries

     

     

    • Setting Boundaries

    • If you have difficulty putting your own needs above those of others, you no doubt have issues with setting personal boundaries. Many of us struggle with this today. It seems more than ever before that people seem to be happy to let others pick up their slack or avoid taking responsibility for themselves and their actions.What this means, to those of us who lack firm boundaries, is that we are the ones who take responsibility for others and pick up the slack. It is up to each of us to determine what we are comfortable doing in any relationship so that we stop feeling manipulated and can enjoy our lives.

    • Do You Need Stronger Personal Boundaries?

    • How do you know if you could use a shoring up of your boundaries?
    • Answer these questions to find out:Do you believe your happiness depends on others?
      • Are you unable to say no, even when you want to?
      • Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
      • Are you more concerned with what others think of you than what you think of yourself?
      • Do you feel constantly drained by all you have to do?
      • Do you always go only with what other people want instead of voicing your desires? Maybe because it’s simpler like that or because you are afraid of making someone angry?
    • If you recognize yourself in many of these questions, fear not! Next, we are going to discover how to set healthy personal boundaries and provide ways you can get started creating yours today.

    • Healthy Personal Boundaries

    • What is a healthy personal boundary? You deserve to choose to say no to taking on others’ responsibilities and choosing how you spend your time. Setting healthy personal boundaries isn’t about barricading yourself behind a wall, so you don’t get hurt, it’s about respecting yourself enough to admit what you want and demand it from others in your life.
    • Setting strong personal boundaries is an absolute must on your journey to making yourself a priority in your own life. Building healthy boundaries is one of the best ways you can put yourself and your needs first. They protect you from being taken advantage of, of being a doormat.
    • Personal boundaries also teach others how to treat you—with respect and care. Your boundaries should stay firm and clear, though you can choose in what situations to allow them to be flexible. They aid you in discovering your true self and making sure you live life on your terms. They develop your self-awareness and self-respect.

    • Steps to Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries

    • Now that you understand what boundaries are and you know yours should be stronger, let’s look at the steps to begin setting yours today. It’s important to realize and remember that setting boundaries is not a one-time deal. This process is learned, and everyone can do it!
    • Understand Yourself
    • The first thing you need to do is decide how you want to be treated by others. One excellent way to begin this journey of self-discovery is to start a journal.
    • Clarify your Values
    • When we focus on other people’s needs and wants only, we stop spending time on ourselves to discover what we want and need. Now’s the time to change that!
    • You may want to clarify what you value in your life, what you want more of in your life, what are your deepest desires? Once you know what you desire and value in life, you’ll be able to use those to make decisions about how you spend your time and energy. Anything that doesn’t align with them will get an automatic, no thanks.
    • Choose Your Company
    • Just because you’ve always eaten lunch with a co-worker or been friends with someone for years doesn’t mean you have to continue. Now that you are more aware of what you want, it’s a great time to re-evaluate who you spend time with and who your friends are. Choose to enjoy time with people who respect your boundaries and who are positive and supportive.
    • Pause
    • When someone asks you to take care of something or attend a function, you should pause before you answer. Say you’ll have to check your calendar and get back to them. That will give you the time and space to decide if it’s something you genuinely want to take part in or not.
    • Accept the Process
    • Because making yourself a priority and putting boundaries in place is a process you must accept that you won’t always deal with situations correctly. There will be slip ups! Learn from each experience and keep going. Be kind to yourself and accept that all journeys have their ups and downs.
    • Feel into your Body
    • When a situation occurs, or you are asked to take on a new responsibility, check in with your body. How do you feel within yourself? Do you feel relaxed? Are you naturally smiling? Or, are your shoulders tight? Is your stomach queasy? Get to know how your emotions show up in your body.
    •  Beware the Vampires
    • Now that you know you can use your body as a reaction gage begin noticing how it feels around different people. We all have to deal with the occasional energy vampire—a person who drains you of energy just by being around them. Using your body as your guide, notice who saps your energy and then find ways to weed them out of your life. You’ll be much happier without them.
    •  Resist the Urge to Fix
    • Have you ever noticed how many people come to you to vent their frustration and anger or ask for advice or help? It will take some practice, but resist the urge to fix their lives for them. Instead, show compassion and empathy.
    • Embrace Flexibility
    • Just because you have set personal boundaries doesn’t mean you have to say a firm no to everything. Each situation is a bit different. You may find as time goes on you want to alter your boundaries. That’s perfectly normal. Your new motto should be “If it feels right, do it.”

    • Tips for Stating Your Boundaries

    •  Creating and maintaining your limits is a process that will become easier the more you practice.
    • Don’t worry. We aren’t going to leave you to your own devices on how to go about standing up for yourself! You may be worried that putting boundaries in place will turn you into a selfish, harsh person. But trust us when we say that there are ways to do this that are kind and gentle. Below are some suggestions to stand up for yourself without feeling like a monster.Stating your boundaries isn’t a commentary. Don’t give into the feeling that you need to explain or defend your decision. The other person doesn’t have the right to judge or comment on your decision.
      • If someone starts to beg or argue with you after you set a boundary, simply restate your original explanation and end the conversation. Be firm, but courteous.
      • Use unassuming, direct language when standing your ground. Don’t give excuses or explain why you’ve come to this decision. You only need to state your answer or choice.
      • If you have judgmental people in your life, start drawing attention to your needs by telling them that it’s not okay with you for them to criticize.
      • Remember, pausing before agreeing to something is your new best friend.
      • If someone is offended or angered by your new boundaries, keep in mind that is their issue. When you start to stand your ground, they won’t like it. But don’t back down! Soon they’ll be someone else’s problem.
    Share this by clicking below:

  • You Matter

    You Matter

    We spend our days rushing from one task to another at work and home only to drop into our beds at midnight, completely exhausted. Our society has changed a great deal since our parents were in their prime. Today we are addicted to speed, see busyness as a status symbol, take care of not only our children, but also our aging parent, and work as many hours as possible to keep ahead of the Jones’. It’s no wonder most of us ignore ourselves and our needs. It seems like there’s simply not the time to do more than grab food on the go and snag a few hours of sleep before starting it all again.

     

    Have you ever stopped to wonder if this is the way you want to live? We somehow find it easier to make time for other people’s needs than we do our own. And, those who do make it a priority to find time for themselves, are considered selfish and self-centered. Since we certainly don’t want others to view us in that way, we soldier on, pushing through instead. Whereas what we need to do is to take a break so that we can take care of ourselves and our energy. Everyone deserves to thrive in life, not just survive one day to the next!

     

    Of course, it’s easier to say we’ll start putting ourselves first than it is to do. With all the time pressures we feel, self-care can feel like just one more thing on our to-do list. However, it’s vital to our physical and mental health to start making ourselves a priority! It’s not just a nice idea. It’s not about taking a yearly vacation (if we’re lucky). It’s not even about taking the occasional trip to the day spa or enjoying a day on the golf course. Choosing to put yourself first needs to be an ongoing, daily habit.

     

    Why is putting our own needs first so vital to health, happiness, and success?

     

    • It staves off burn-out
    • It sets you up to live a fulfilled, joyful life
    • It keeps you focused on what’s important
    • It helps you refocus when you feel overwhelmed or at a loss as to what should come next
    • It aids in recuperating from stress so that it doesn’t build up

     

    If you would like to begin making yourself a priority, but don’t know where to start, you are in the right place. Download your FREE Choose You Checklist HERE.  By the time you put some of these suggestions into practice, you’ll not only acknowledge that putting yourself is worth the effort, but you’ll know how to make it happen! You’ll be totally on board and moving towards living a reality where self-care and filling your cup first isn’t a reward, but a necessity.

    Share this by clicking below:

  • Finding Joy and Happiness in Difficult Times

    As sure as the sun rises and sets each day, you will have periods in your life when things are just not going your way. In reality, life is basically a constant fluctuation of emotional highs and lows.

    While most of our time is spent in the fairly even, mundane state of emotional normalcy, this is broken up by the peaks of the best of times and unfortunately, the valleys when nothing is going right.

    While hardly anyone ever seeks information on how to deal with the best moments of their lives, handling the lows can be a difficult task. Today we live in very troubled times, a pandemic has taken over most of the world, and people are being affected in many profound and very real ways.

    Everything that surrounds getting through this pandemic is based in suffering and pain, its just the nature of the beast. Death, isolation, fear, facing the unknown and grief and loss can strip us of our joy and may lead to depression.

    While you cannot control what happens outside your door, you CAN control yourself. There are things you can do to maintain a positive and even joyful mindset.

    In this discussion, we are going to talk about three tips for doing just that.

    1. Surround Yourself With The Right People

     It is often said that we are the sum total of the five people we surround ourselves with most often. If that is the case, making sure you get the right people around you, especially when going through a difficult period, is critical to hold on to your joy. Often times when life is really beating us up, we retreat into the solitude of our home, wanting to throw the covers of our heads and be left alone with our thoughts.

    Make no mistake; sometimes periods of solitude are healthy and necessary. Right now, isolation is the norm as we fight a health crisis. However, when you find yourself in a really low spot, robbed of your joy, connecting with those who make you happy is mandatory.

    Although it may seem obvious in concept, avoiding people who have the opposite effect can sometimes be the real battle. Negative individuals are especially important to keep out of your life when you are already struggling to find joy in your current situation.

    You can stay connected during Shelter In Place orders, when you are isolating at home to prevent the spread of Covid-19. Technology has seen to that.

    ·         Face Time on iPhones and Video calls on Android

    ·         Skype

    ·         A simple phone call

    ·         Email

    ·         Text

    ·         Zoom and other video conferencing software can bring together friends and family while staying safe and following health official’s orders.

    ·         Good old-fashioned letter writing

    2. Remember That Nothing Is Permanent

     “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

    Nothing in life is permanent. Fortunately, nothing in life is permanent! Let’s state that again, this will pass.

    During periods of extreme happiness and joy, thinking about the temporary nature of each season in life is not something we like to dwell on.

    On the contrary, keeping this truth in mind during the low times can be very beneficial. Whatever you are going through, no matter how bad it may be, it WILL pass.

    In fact, most of the difficult times you experience in life will end without any extra effort on your part. It is so easy to get into the mentality that we have to put forth an immense amount of effort to make something bad go away.

    Even though this is sometimes the case, most of the time, TIME is the only remedy for tough situations. If you want to maximize your joy during difficult times, remember that your situation is not the way things are, only the way they are RIGHT NOW.

    3. Base Your Happiness On Yourself

     Since we have discussed how life is divided into highs and lows and the fact that nothing will lasts forever, this leads to another thing to keep in mind during the best AND the worst periods.

    If you want to have joy and happiness on a consistent basis, it absolutely cannot be dictated by your circumstances. If you let every good thing that happens to you leave you soaring on cloud nine and every negative situation send you crashing to earth, you will go through life in a state of emotional exhaustion! Stable, consistent, sustainable joy can only be created and found within yourself.

    Life is far less about what happens to you than it is how you react to it. You are in charge of how you feel. Don’t fall into the routine of letting happiness get to your head and failure to your heart. 

    To find out how you can add joy and happiness to your life every day, download the FREE Choose You Checklist below.

    Click here for your FREE Choose You Checklist
    Share this by clicking below:

  • The Top 3 Ways to Get the Most Out of Living in the NOW!

    The Top 3 Ways to Get the Most Out of Living in the NOW!

    Click here for your FREE report on

    The Power of Living in the Now

    Living in the now may sound like a New Age concept for hippies, but it can be one of the most powerful tools for living your best life once you start to practice it.  We are human beings, not human ‘doings’, and yet most of us, especially in the West, are constantly chasing after what we believe to be ‘success’.

    Yet success is not a fixed concept. It is in the eye of the beholder. In the West, being a veterinarian, doctor or lawyer might be considered a sign of success, yet we know that there are many unhappy doctors. In fact, they have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. (Veterinarians are actually #1 on the list of professionals most likely to commit suicide.)

    The drive to constantly do something makes us distracted and keeps us so focused on the daily grind that we have little time for relaxation, de-stressing, or self-development. Even worse, it makes us feel stuck, as if we can’t change because we have no time, that the whole world we have created for ourselves will fall apart and more.

    Here, you will discover the power of living in the now in order to achieve personal transformation, and how you can be more present in your life in every sense of the word.

    Let’s look at one of the main reasons we fail to live fully in the present and sacrifice our personal power, the mistake of living in the past.

    1. Let Go of the Past

    Many of us think we are living in the present, day after day, but the truth is that we are often more focused on the past and future than on the present. We are plugged into a particular role in our family from the time we are born.

    Yet it is all a question of perception. For example, having children may be a priority to one person to continue the human race, yet another may believe that zero children is the way to go, because of the current world situation, not wanting to be responsible for bringing a child into a world that is already overcrowded, with many people living below the poverty line.

    Old habits die hard, even when you long to make positive changes in your life. Sticking to your worst habits you know you should change is a lot easier than breaking them, such as quitting smoking or stopping overeating.

    We also stay stuck in order to avoid conflict. No one wants to be alone in life, so we put up with certain situations in order to maintain the relationship. Why? Because change is scary. For anyone who has ever wondered how any battered wife would remain with the spouse who has been harming her, the truth is that the future is more frightening for her than her current situation, even though it is so terrible.

    The past soon becomes a pattern. And If something traumatic happens to us, it can often cause us to ‘freeze’ in that moment and have trouble moving on, or changing. A death in the family might be one example. A bad break-up with a spouse might be another, causing us to have trouble ever trusting or loving anyone ever again.

    Living in the present allows you to create a new identity by releasing the pain and the self-limiting thoughts from the past, and taking things one day at a time. 

    1. Avoid Getting Wrapped Up in the Future

    Another reason we get stuck in our lives is because we get too wrapped up in the future and don’t pay enough attention to the present. Most of us are so busy chasing the future of our dreams that we overlook the joys of the present. Even worse, if we don’t get what we think we desperately want, our life might seem ‘ruined’. Look at all the pressure put on teens to get good grades so they can get into the college of their choice. If they don’t get in for any reason, they often feel as if they are failure or as if their life is ruined.

    Happily married couples think kids and a home of their own will make their lives perfect, until they discover one of the partners is infertile or the roof starts to fall in due to heavy winter snow. It’s times like these that test a person’s character, and often make or break even the best relationships.

    Outside stresses abound, but we place a lot of stress on ourselves due to all our expectations, thoughts and desires. We spend so much time chasing after the future we want, such as money for the down payment on that dream house, we fail to live in the now. We do what we have to in order to keep our jobs so we can keep on earning in order to pay the mortgage, but there seems little time for anything other than work and other commitments. Then we get frustrated and feel like a giant hamster running in a wheel all the time.

    This constant doing instead of being, of living in the future, instead of living in the now, can cause anger and frustration to build. Very few of us are at our best when we are stressed and angry. It can cause us to do something we will regret; such as do or say something to our partner that might be very hurtful.

    The truth is that your life unfolds moment by moment in the present. In the time it’s taken you to read that sentence, about 10 seconds have already passed into the past. By the time you finish, which might take about another 10 seconds, those future seconds will become the present, and then the past.

    Understanding this can help you realize just how precious your time is, and how each present moment is the foundation to a happier future if you take time to live in the now.

    1. Live in the Present

    There are many ways you can train yourself to cut links with the past and stop chasing the future so you can live in the present. This will mean some focus and effort, but the results will be well worth it.

    • Try meditation.
    • Practice mindfulness.
    • Don’t follow your thoughts.
    • Give up the myth of multitasking.
    • Don’t follow your fantasies.
    • Stop thinking the grass is greener.
    • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
    • Just do it, and pay attention while you do it.
    • Set your intention for the day and for each action.
    • Stop judging.
    • Always begin where you are.
    • Your best is good enough.
    • Stop watching the clock all the time.
    • Go with the flow.
    • Divorce yourself from media.
    • Make regular time for loved ones.

    As American cartoonist Bil Keane said, “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”

    Being present is a gift that will keep on giving, to your family, and above all, yourself, as you discover the power of living in the here and now. 

    Click here for your FREE report on

    The Power of Living in the Now

    Share this by clicking below:

  • How Clutter is Impacting Your Life!

         

    How Clutter Is Impacting Your Life!

     

    You’ve seen the social media memes that suggest clutter is good because it’s a sign of creativity. For a few minutes, the memes make you smile and let you know that you aren’t the only person with a clutter problem. However, the truth is that clutter is not a sign of creativity or of productivity. It’s a sign of disorganization, procrastination, lack of control, and sometimes a lack of value or respect. Clutter can even cause problems you may not even be aware of. 

     

    Maybe you think it’s just not that bad, it’s just a little clutter, and a little messy but it’s not hurting anything. The fact is that clutter can wreak havoc with your physical, mental, and financial health. 

     

    Increases Mental Problems 

    The clutter and disorganization around you are ruining your focus. It becomes hard to concentrate due to having to deal with the mess and thoughts that are continually popping up interrupting your flow. The exciting thing is that science is discovering that in some cases the clutter came before the mental illness. This means that there may be a cure.

     

    Induces anxiety – Obsessions with the Past – Clutter is closely tied to an inability to let go of the past. 

     

    Risk of becoming a Hoarder – While not all people who have clutter become hoarders, it can happen. 

     

    Chicken or Egg – People with lots of clutter physically also have lots of clutter mentally that makes life, in general, feel messy and out of control. Usually when the clutter is cleared their outlook improves, and their mind becomes clearer. 



    Ruins Your Diet 

    When the house is dirty, the car is a wreck, and you’re running on fumes, it’s not shocking that you’re not making good food choices. It seems too hard to plan grocery shopping, cooking time, and so forth when it’s all so cluttered that you cannot find your kitchen table and your oven is full of dirty dishes.

     

    • Junk & Fast Food Seems Easy to Grab

    • Stress Hormones Make You Hungry

    • Guilt Makes You Do Unhealthy Things

    • Guilty feelings for not doing a good enough job taking care of your home and office clutter can cause you to stuff your feelings with eating

     

    Causes Respiratory Issues 

    Dust mites cause allergies and illness. 

     

    Is Not Safe 

    One of the saddest and most preventable injuries among the elderly and those who live alone is falling. Most falling can be prevented if you keep the paths clear and clutter free. Collections of papers stored in rooms, attics, and crawl spaces create severe fire hazards. 

     

    Weakens Relationships 

    The clutter, whether it’s mental clutter or physical clutter can get in the way of experiencing true downtime and relaxation with the people in your life. Living in chaos, the mood level in the home will not be positive. The negativity will cause every relationship to suffer. Is it time for a family meeting? 

     

    Decreases Productivity 

    If you have to do an hour of reorganizing just to get something done, the clutter will contribute to procrastination, causing your productivity level to dwindle to nothing.

     

    Inability to Meet Deadlines – If you cannot find things, it can be hard to meet your deadlines. If you cannot meet deadlines, it can adversely affect your business or career. 

     

    Lack of Motivation – Even just walking in a room and seeing the clutter can be demotivating. All the things bombard your mind and cause confusion

     

    Can’t Find Stuff – One of the most significant factors in reduced productivity is just not being able to find stuff. If you cannot find your assignment, important research documents, your frying pan – whatever it is that you needed to complete a task it causes costly delays and reduces your productivity. Everyone has the same hours in a day, but it’s easy to get overwhelmed when you’ve allowed your home and/or office to get so cluttered. Clutter can really drag you down and make you feel like giving up. 

     

    Encourages Bad Money Management 

    Clutter can cause so much destruction if you’re not careful. You will end up spending more money on replacing “lost” items or buying something you already own because you forgot that you own it since you cannot find it. If you’re always forgetting that certain bills are due, it can be very costly to you. If you’re so cluttered in your mind and space that you cannot keep track of time, it’s likely that you’re also not balancing your bank account regularly 

     

    Rebuying Things You Already Own – This is something a lot of people who have a lot of clutter end up doing. They either forget they own something and buy another one because they like it, or they go out and buy another one because they cannot find the one that they know they own.

     

    Clutter is Bad for The Environment 

    One of the main culprits of clutter is overconsumption. People have garages so full of stuff that they don’t use that they cannot put their cars inside. 

     

    Next Step

    As you can see, clutter in your environment has adverse effects on every aspect of your life. It affects your mental health and your physical safety when it decreases productivity, stresses relationships, and has a negative impact on your financial future. It even affects the physical environment due to poor or inaccurate decision-making and overconsumption.  

     

    What area of your life is impacted by clutter? 

    What is one action you can take today to start to clear your clutter?

     

    Share in the comments below.

     
    Share this by clicking below:
  • Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

    Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

    Calm Racing Thoughts & Enjoy the Peace of the Present

     

    Living in the now is something that takes practice. You may struggle with being present because of racing thoughts.

    People have this issue because of overthinking. There are common areas where people tend to overthink. One of these areas is money. A simple thought that you’d like to make more money can quickly turn into worrying that you may not have enough in the future. It could turn into worrying about what you’ll do if you lose your job or ability to work.

    Relationships are another area where overthinking often happens. This is usually due to projecting. You don’t know what someone is thinking or feeling and it can make you second guess. You might think someone is feeling negatively toward you when they’re not even thinking about their relationship with you at all.

    If you take a situation or a problem and you overthink it, you can spin it into a huge problem that seems overwhelming. Then you feel paralyzed and unable to take action. Now, racing thoughts keep you spinning your wheels and wasting time.

    When you learn how to control your thoughts, you live fully present and acquire a feeling of power, as you realize what you can do. To calm racing thoughts and experience the peace of the present, you can take several steps in order to reach your goal.

    First, remember to breathe. When you pause to breathe, it effectively lowers your heightened response as well as your stress. Focus on inhaling and exhaling and slowly count to three as you do so. You’ll instantly feel calmer.

    Second, don’t look at situations that aren’t reality. Many people create worst-case scenarios in their mind. For example, if someone is late coming home, you might assume the worst—that your loved one was injured or in an accident. However, this thought doesn’t serve you. It only adds unnecessary stress and fear to your life.

    If you realize that a thought is based only on anxiety, let it go. You might say, “I know Dave is running late. But I release my fear over it and choose to believe that everything will be fine.”

    Next, don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the past either. Focus on the moment, rather than what used to be, or what could be. The only time that you have is right now. If you focus on the past, your thoughts will race about things that happened to you or how you could have done things differently.

    You may also find it helpful to adopt a mantra. Having a word or phrase that you can turn to in order to refocus your attention can calm a racing mind. This could be something as simple as “Everything is fine” or “I walk in peace.”

    Sometimes racing thoughts happen because you’re trying to hold on to important information. You fear what might happen if you forget to take care of something. To calm your racing thoughts, create a thought list.

    Write down all the thoughts that are bothering you. Once they’re written down, you’ll discover that your thoughts are no longer racing. That’s because once you write something down, your brain believes it has dealt with the racing thoughts and will begin winding down.

    You can also choose to do a calming activity when you’re struggling to be present. This might be something like playing a game, reading, writing, gardening, coloring, drawing, or listening to music. Calming activities stop racing thoughts because they change your focus from being immersed in anxiety or regret to actively doing something.

    Exercise is another activity you can do that will calm racing thoughts. As you exercise, endorphins flood the body. This boosts your mood and can help you get fear or worry back under control. For the best results, choose a low-impact exercise that will calm you. For example, you might choose a slow walk around your neighborhood or a series of gentle yoga poses.

    Change your sounds can also have a profound impact on bringing you into the present moment. Listen to the birds outside your window or put on some nature music. You could turn on a white noise machine or listen to instrumental music as well.

     

    Share this by clicking below:
  • How to Become Aware of the Current Moment

    How to Become Aware of the Current Moment

    How to Become Aware of the Current Moment

    Learning how to become aware of the current moment is one of the best ways that you can live in the present.

    Begin by tuning in to your body. You can do this by understanding how to connect with your body. Breathe in and pay attention to how the air fills your lungs. Then slowly release the air. Notice how the oxygen makes your lungs feel as you inhale, then again as you exhale. Then focus on the top of your head and move down or begin at your toes and move up as you focus on your body. During these body moments, you want to be aware of your breathing and posture.

    Listen in to how your body feels in each area. Pay attention to assess whether there is something that you need to address. Sometimes, you can get so busy in life that you miss important things your body is trying to tell you. Perform a mental body scan to help you become aware of the present.

    You can also check in with yourself as soon as you’re awake. Do this by taking a few minutes to write down whatever it is that flows into your consciousness. There’s no page count to reach or no limit to be had. You just write down your thoughts and your feelings. These short writing bursts can put your day into focus, as well as how you’re feeling at the moment.  Writing down what’s going on in your mind helps to clear away the cobwebs, determine your focus, and helps you prepare for the day. It doesn’t matter if you skip from thought to thought. There’s no grade to be had here. You can write one word, one sentence or several pages. This is simply tuning in to your mind at the beginning of your day just like you tuned in to your body.

    Another way to stay present is to meditate as you’re going through your day. When you meditate on your day—on each task or action—it helps you to stay in the now regardless of whatever it is that you’re doing. To do this, just stop and take three deep breaths as you concentrate on the task or action you are doing at the moment.

    This practice helps you to keep your attention trained on the current moment rather than thinking about what happened yesterday or turning your focus to what you need to do tomorrow.

    Take a second to see yourself as you’re going through your day. Visualize your steps. This works to keep your focus on what you need to do rather than allowing yourself to become distracted by other things.

    When your day is over, pause to reflect about the moments that you were fully present. Think about how you felt physically and how you felt emotionally. The purpose for this brief exercise is it helps you to become more aware of the attention you gave the present. It allows you to finish the day on a moment of reflection and gratitude.

    Share this by clicking below:

  • Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

    Why It’s So Hard to Be Present

     

    Being present can be difficult to achieve because doing so can trigger feelings of discomfort. The discomfort comes from thinking you must be completely within the present without slipping up.

    When something does happen to shake your focus, it can make you feel like you’ve failed to achieve living in the now. However, being present isn’t something that has a success or failure scorecard. It’s simply learning how to pick up on the situations when you’re not practicing living in the moment and gently course correcting.

    It can be hard to be in the present because you might get caught up in the mundane. There’s nothing peaceful about the stresses of life. When the dishwasher floods or the car breaks down, it can be easy to start daydreaming, rather than focusing on what’s currently going on in your life.

    Living in the present is something that can take practice. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits. You can find yourself handling life the way you’ve always done. Your habits are your “go-to” response and your brain can automatically fall back into those thought processes.

    When this happens and you realize that your mind and your reactions are opposite of living in the now, you can always hit reset. Just because you think you blew it doesn’t mean that you did.

    Everyone will have times when they forget to focus, especially when life gets hectic. However, as soon as you’re aware that’s happening, you can pause and start fresh.

    It can be hard to be present when you’re in the middle of something that’s stressing you out or making you angry or sad. This is totally normal. It’s common to have difficulty concentrating or focusing when you’re in the middle of a crisis.

    That’s why you want to focus on learning to “live in the now” even if your life seems peaceful and calm at this moment. Then when difficult things happen, you’ll be able to maintain your peacefulness because you’ve spent time practicing.

    Some people struggle to be present because they fear living in the moment means they’re going to be handing over control. Sometimes, it’s easier to think that if you worry about something or fret over it; you can prevent bad things from happening simply because you pre-worried.

    However, living fully in the moment isn’t about giving up control. It’s about focusing your awareness so that you don’t waste valuable energy worrying about what has happened or what might happen. Instead, you’re experiencing fullness of life exactly where you are.

    Share this by clicking below:

  • How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace

    Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.

    Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.

    Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.

    While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.

    Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.

    Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.

    Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.

    If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.

    The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”

    Share this by clicking below: